2010 Quotes

Taglines Something wonderful is about to happen.

Victor Milson You've double-checked this? Please say you haven't. You aren't saying anything, Floyd.

Dr. Floyd Something incredible's happening up there. Discovery is being pulled towards Io, or pushed away from Jupiter, whichever. Sometimes it seems to be accelerating, and other times, it just seems to stop. I've never seen anything like it.

Victor Milson How long before it impacts on Io?

Dr. Floyd Two, two and a half years.

Victor Milson How could we be so goddamn wrong about the orbit?

Dr. Floyd Because we weren't wrong.

Victor Milson Well, if we weren't wrong, well then, terrific! Why the hell is it gonna crash?

Dr. Floyd I don't know. It's bizarre. Unless it's got something to do with that Monolith up there.

Victor Milson You see that building behind us? I'm supposed to go in there and have lunch in half an hour. Course, there's one good thing about a reactionary President, he's not into health foods. Last one, we didn't lunch, we grazed. Wanna know what lunch is about? I'll tell you. We've got two more aircraft carriers off the coast of Honduras. The Russians are moving some of their big stuff. Now you've got the Joint Chiefs screaming about Russian satellites with anti-missile lasers on em, so we gotta send up our laser satellites to counteract theirs. So the President has come to the conclusion that the NCA should be placed under the jurisdiction of the Defense Department. Enough with the crazy scientists spending all this money trying to talk to Martians. So, here we are on your actual brink, my agency's going to become a part of the military, I've got a President with his finger poised on the button, and you want me to walk across the park and tell him we want to hitch a ride with those very same Russians. Have I missed anything?

Dr. Floyd That's about it.

Taglines We are not alone.

Taglines In the very near future a small group of Americans and Russians set out on the greatest adventure of them all... To see if there is life beyond the stars.

Dr. Vasili Orlov What was that all about?

Dr. Chandra I've erased all of HAL's memory from the moment the trouble started.

Dr. Vasili Orlov The 9000 series uses holographic memories, so chronological erasures would not work.

Dr. Chandra I made a tapeworm.

Dr. Walter Curnow You made a what?

Dr. Chandra It's a program that's fed into a system that will hunt down and destroy any desired memories.

Dr. Floyd Wait...do you know why HAL did what he did?

Dr. Chandra Yes. It wasn't his fault.

Dr. Floyd Whose fault was it?

Dr. Chandra Yours.

Dr. Floyd Mine?

Dr. Chandra Yours. In going through HAL's memory banks, I discovered his original orders. You wrote those orders. Discovery's mission to Jupiter was already in the advanced planning stages when the first small Monolith was found on the Moon, and sent its signal towards Jupiter. By direct presidential order, the existence of that Monolith was kept secret.

Dr. Floyd So?

Dr. Chandra So, as the function of the command crew - Bowman and Poole - was to get Discovery to its destination, it was decided that they should not be informed. The investigative team was trained separately, and placed in hibernation before the voyage began. Since HAL was capable of operating Discovery without human assistance, it was decided that he should be programmed to complete the mission autonomously in the event the crew was incapacitated or killed. He was given full knowledge of the true objective...and instructed not to reveal anything to Bowman or Poole. He was instructed to lie.

Dr. Floyd What are you talking about? I didn't authorize anyone to tell HAL about the Monolith!

Dr. Chandra Directive is NSC 342/23, top secret, January 30, 2001.

Dr. Floyd NSC... National Security Council, the White House.

Dr. Chandra I don't care who it is. The situation was in conflict with the basic purpose of HAL's design: The accurate processing of information without distortion or concealment. He became trapped. The technical term is an H. Moebius loop, which can happen in advanced computers with autonomous goal-seeking programs.

Dr. Walter Curnow The goddamn White House.

Dr. Floyd I don't believe it.

Dr. Chandra HAL was told to lie...by people who find it easy to lie. HAL doesn't know how, so he couldn't function. He became paranoid.

Dr. Floyd Those sons of bitches. I didn't know. I didn't know!

Dr. Floyd All right, what's going on here?

Tanya Kirbuk What do you mean?

Dr. Floyd Well, I may not be the swiftest guy in the world, even when I'm not hung over, but I do seem to remember a process where you people ask me questions and I give you answers and then I ask questions and you give me answers and that's the way we find out things. I think I read that in a manual somewhere.

Tanya Kirbuk Your government wanted us to awaken you when we reported our findings. We did that. You are here to help us reactivate the Discovery and its computer systems because that is United States territory. You are authorized to observe other aspects of our mission. We have no other obligation.

Dr. Vladimir Rudenko A lot has happened while you have been asleep.

Dr. Vasili Orlov It is not our choice.

Tanya Kirbuk The problem in Central America is growing worse.

Dr. Floyd This looks as if you've detected the presence of chlorophyll.

Tanya Kirbuk The United States is threatening a naval blockade.

Dr. Floyd There's nothing but ice down there, so how the hell can there be any chlorophyll?

Tanya Kirbuk You know and I know that my country cannot allow a blockade.

Dr. Floyd How fast is it moving?

Tanya Kirbuk We are under instructions -

Dr. Floyd Listen, just because our governments are behaving like asses doesn't mean we have to. We're supposed to be scientists, not politicians. How fast?

Tanya Kirbuk Doctor Floyd, I am also an officer of the Soviet Air Force!

Dr. Floyd How fast?!

Dr. Vasili Orlov One meter per minute.

Dr. Floyd Don't worry, I'm just observing. Toward the sun?

Dr. Vasili Orlov Yes.

Dr. Floyd That's...that's incredible.

Tanya Kirbuk We are going to send a probe down.

Dr. Floyd Good!

Dr. Heywood Floyd Oh, there's something down there, all right. We all saw it; we read the data; we know it's there. But suppose, just suppose that it had something to do with the Monolith? Now, before you get that look on all of your faces, just listen to me for a minute. We've been ] out here since the 1970s. And so have you guys. But none of us have ever encountered even the slightest signs of ] on ], never. And we certainly were close enough, weren't we? 9 years ago, the Monolith was detected here. Discovery was sent up and everything went wacko. You catching my drift? So here we are, 9 years later, trying to figure out what the hell happened and what the Monolith was all about. And guess what we discover along the way? The possibility of ] of some kind where it had never existed before. I don't think it was electrostatic anything. I think something wants us to stay away from Europa.

Dimitri Moiseivitch I want to play a game with you, Doctor Floyd.

Heywood Floyd I don't have time for games.

Dimitri Moiseivitch This is a very good game. It's called "The Truth." For two minutes, I will speak only the truth, and so will you.

Heywood Floyd Two minutes?

Dimitri Moiseivitch Two minutes.

Heywood Floyd Make it a minute and a half.

Dimitri Moiseivitch One minute and three-quarters.

Heywood Floyd You start.

Dimitri Moiseivitch Neatness! It's a good quality! You'll make someone a fine wife! You are Dr. Heywood Floyd?

Heywood Floyd Who the hell are you?

Dimitri Moiseivitch I'm Moiseivitch. I'm here to discuss your problem.

Dr. Heywood Floyd My dear Christopher: This is the last time I'll be able to speak to you for a long while. I'm trying to put into words what has happened. Maybe that's for historians to do sometime later. They will record that the next day, the President of the United States looked out of the White House window and the Premier of the Soviet Union looked out of the Kremlin window, and saw the new distant sun in the sky. They read the message, and perhaps they learned something because they finally recalled their ships and their planes. I am going to sleep now. I will dream of you and your mother. I will sleep knowing that you are both safe, that the fear is over. We have seen the process of life take place. Maybe this is the way it happened on Earth millions of years ago. Maybe it's something completely different. I still don't know really what the Monolith is. I think it's many things. An embassy for an intelligence beyond ours. A shape of some kind for something that has no shape. Your children will be born in a world of two suns. They will never know a sky without them. You can tell them that you remember when there was a pitch black sky with no bright star, and people feared the night. You can tell them when we were alone, when we couldn't point to the light and say to ourselves, "There is life out there." Someday, the children of the new sun will meet the children of the old. I think they will be our friends. You can tell your children of the day when everyone looked up and realized that we were only tenants of this world. We have been given a new lease and a warning from the landlord.

Taglines The odyssey continues 26 years ahead of its time.

SAL-9000 Will I dream?

Dr. Chandra Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why. Perhaps you will dream of HAL...just as I often do.

HAL 9000 Dr. Floyd?

Dr. Floyd What is it, HAL?

HAL 9000 There is a message for you.

Dr. Floyd Who's calling?

HAL 9000 There is no identification.

Dr. Floyd What's the message?

HAL 9000 Message as follows: "It is dangerous to remain here. You must leave within two days.

Dr. Floyd What?

HAL 9000 Do you want me to repeat the message, Dr. Floyd?

Dr. Floyd Who recorded it?

HAL 9000 This is not a recording.

Dr. Floyd Who's sending it?

HAL 9000 There is no identification.

Dr. Floyd I don't understand.

HAL 9000 Neither do I.

Dr. Floyd Is this message by voice or keyboard?

HAL 9000 I don't know.

Dr. Floyd My response is, we don't have enough fuel for an earlier departure.

HAL 9000 The answer is, "I am aware of these facts. Nevertheless you must leave within two days.

Dr. Floyd HAL, who the hell is sending this?

HAL 9000 I'm sorry, Dr. Floyd, I don't know.

Dr. Floyd Well, tell whoever it is that I can't take any of this seriously unless I know who I'm talking to.

HAL 9000 Dr. Floyd?

Dr. Floyd Yes?

HAL 9000 The response is, "I was David Bowman." Do you want me to repeat the last response?

Dr. Floyd No, no. Tell Curnow that this is no time for jokes.

HAL 9000 Dr. Curnow is not sending the message. He is in access way two.

Dr. Floyd Well, tell whoever it is that I can't accept that identification without proof.

HAL 9000 The response is, "I understand. It is important that you believe me. Look behind you.

HAL-9000 Dr. Chandra, I detect strong vocal stress patterns. Is there a problem?

Dr. Chandra No, Hal; the mission is proceeding normally. Can you analyze the image on monitor circuit #2?

HAL-9000 Yes. There is a circular object near the equator. It is 22,000 kilometers in diameter. It is comprised of rectangular objects.

Dr. Chandra How many?

HAL-9000 1,355,000, plus or minus 1,000.

Dr. Chandra And what is the proportion of the objects in question?

HAL-9000 1 by 4 by 9.

Dr. Chandra Do you recognize these objects?

HAL-9000 Yes. They are identical in size and shape to the object you call the Monolith. 10 minutes to ignition. All systems nominal.

Dr. Chandra Is the number of monoliths constant?

HAL-9000 No. They are increasing.

Dr. Chandra At what rate?

HAL-9000 Once every 2 minutes.

Dr. Heywood Floyd Dear Caroline: The first part of this journey is coming to an end. We are about to rendezvous with the Discovery. The race will be on now. We're going to send a boarding party over to climb inside this 800-foot long shipwreck, which is floating over Io, to see if she can be rescued before her orbit gives out. There are 9 years of secrets inside, including a sleeping computer who knows the answers. My past is also inside, and I want those answers.

Dr. Chandra Whether we are based on carbon or silicon makes no fundamental difference. We should each be treated with appropriate respect.

Dave Bowman Hal, do you read me?

HAL-9000 Affirmative, Dave. Where are you? I cannot see you on any of my monitors.

Dave Bowman That isn't important now. I have new instructions for you. I want you to point the AE-35 antenna unit towards Earth.

HAL-9000 Dave...that will mean breaking contact with the Leonov. I will be unable to relay my Jupiter observations according to program.

Dave Bowman I understand. The situation has changed. Accept Priority Override Alpha. Here are the AE-35 coordinates. Please do it now.

HAL-9000 Instructions confirmed, Dave. It is good to be working with you again. Have I fulfilled the mission objectives properly?

Dave Bowman Yes, Hal. You've done very well. Now, there is one final message for you to send. It is the most important message you have ever sent. I want you to keep repeating it as many times as possible.

HAL-9000 What is going to happen, Dave?

Dave Bowman Something wonderful.

HAL-9000 I'm afraid.

Dave Bowman Don't be. We'll be together.

HAL-9000 Where will we be?

Dave Bowman Where I am now.

HAL-9000 Lock confirmed on beacon Terra One. Message commencing.

Dr. Heywood Floyd Dear Caroline: I miss you terribly. The time has come to put ourselves in orbit around ], which is where the Discovery is. And we don't have enough fuel to slow ourselves down, so we are about to use a technique called ]. The theory is that we will enter the outer layer of Jupiter's atmosphere, using what is called a ballute for a shield. The atmosphere will slow us down, and Jupiter's gravity will grab hold of us and slingshot us around behind the dark side. If all goes well, we'll wind up in a gentle orbit around Io. It's dynamite on paper. Of course, the people who came up with the numbers on the paper aren't here. Since no one has ever done this before, everyone up here is as scared as I am. The difference is they're busy. I have nothing to do but wait for it to happen. And I hope this is all worth it.

Taglines Is there life beyond the stars?

Dr. Heywood Floyd Floyd to Milson: My news is a little better than yours. Discovery has been partially revived. I don't know how much damage has been done, or if we'll be able to bring it back home. Most of that is up to HAL. The drive system could be operated manually, so we were able to pull Discovery away from its decaying orbit around Io. I must say, the farther away I get from Io, the happier I am. It's a violent moon, even for Jupiter. Europa, for all its cold gray, is a lot more comforting. I tell you, Victor, there's some kind of new life down there, trying to get through all that ice. We are 10,000 kilometers away from the Monolith. I can't see it, except I know it's there. I also think it knows we're here. It's time to unleash Chandra. We'll see if our computer brain surgeon and psychiatrist can put HAL back together again. To tell you the truth, I don't know if HAL is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken.

Dr. Walter Curnow Look at it closely. Tell me I'm nuts. Are those cloud formations going toward the spot?

Dr. Floyd You're not nuts.

Dr. Vasili Orlov It looks like the thing is eating the planet.

Dr. Floyd I think it is.

Dr. Walter Curnow It's reproducing exactly like a virus!

Dave Bowman You see, something's going to happen. You must leave.

Dr. Floyd What? What's going to happen?

Dave Bowman Something wonderful.

Dr. Floyd What?

Dave Bowman I understand how you feel. You see, it's all very clear to me now. The whole thing. It's wonderful.

Taglines The year we make contact.

Dr. Heywood Floyd Dear Caroline: This is finally it. After 9 years and hundreds of millions of miles, we are about to come face to face with the Monolith. The last human being who did that disappeared and was never seen or heard from again. Something truly amazing is going on out here, and I really believe this black giant is controlling it all. We have so much to ask. I have a feeling that the answers are bigger than the questions.

Victor Milson This is the most difficult announcement. As you know, things have not been going well back home. Well, it's gotten worse-a lot worse. Yesterday, a Soviet destroyer challenged the blockade. Several warning shots were fired across her bow; she did not respond. A second volley was fired; there still was no response. None. The nuclear destroyer ] launched two of her falcon missiles. Both struck the Soviet vessel amidship. She broke in two and sunk. 800 of her crew were lost. This morning, an American surveillance satellite was struck by a Soviet laser, fired from the ] space station. The American satellite was destroyed. The United States has broken off diplomatic relations with Russia. All ambassadors have been recalled. The Soviet ambassador has been expelled along with the entire staff. All American air defense and satellite defense forces are on full alert. Premier Ulanov made a televised address and said that technically, a state of war exists between our two countries. All American personnel are ordered to leave Soviet territory immediately or they will be placed under arrest. All Russian personnel are similarly ordered to evacuate American territory. As a result, by direct Presidential order, the three of you must leave the Leonov. No Russian citizen is allowed to remain on or is allowed to enter the Discovery. This order is effective immediately. The launch window for reentry is 28 days. The Discovery has enough fuel for low consumption trajectory. HAL appears to be reactivated and is functioning well enough to operate the onboard systems. The Leonov has enough fuel for low consumption trajectory that will arrive 12 months earlier. The launch windows are critical for both the spacecraft. Only communications of emergency distress nature are allowed between the Leonov and Discovery. I know you people are caught in the middle of this — in a sense, we all are. I wish there was something I could do to help. The only thing left for us is to pray...pray for the safety of our families, for our countries, for our planet. May God forgive us and protect us.

Victor Milson Milson to Floyd: It's been 12 hours since my request for information. I need a reply. All hell is breaking loose down here; I have enough problems without you people pulling some kind of a stunt. I only hope that there's a world left for you to return to. Report to ground as to what is going on and make that report immediately! And while you're at it, could you please check out a black spot on Jupiter that has been detected by satellite telescope? It is on the dark side, and should be coming around your way in about 4 hours. End transmission, Milson, 2780.

Dr. Walter Curnow You know what I miss? I miss green. Trees, and grass...I love green.

David Floyd I'd love a hot dog.

Dr. Walter Curnow The Astrodome. Good hot dogs.

Dr. Floyd The Astrodome? You can't boil good hot dogs indoors...Yankee Stadium, September. Hot dogs have been boiling since the opening day in April. That's a hot dog.

Dr. Walter Curnow Yellow mustard, or the darker one?

Dr. Floyd Darker.

Dr. Floyd Darker.

Dr. Walter Curnow You really think we're gonna get out of this alive?

Dr. Floyd We have a chance.

Dr. Walter Curnow A man of few words. I like it.

Dr. Chandra HAL was told to lie - by people who find it easy to lie. HAL doesn't know how.

Victor Milson This is Milson, switching over to KE2 in 5 seconds. Mark. I wish I could bring you better news. It's getting worse. The President addressed a joint session of Congress yesterday. He said he wasn't gonna back down on the blockade. I don't know which was scarier, the speech or the Congress cheering it. He evoked ]. Whenever a president is gonna get us into serious trouble, they always use Lincoln. I honestly don't know if we're gonna be at war or not — it's terrifying to hope that the Russians are less crazy than we are, when they are clearly crazy. Right now, I think you're in a safer place than we are. I just hope that there is an Earth to return to. I heard about the spoiled food in the Discovery{{'}}s galley. I'm glad that's all it was. I'm also glad that you got the ship under control. Curnow is a capable man. No one knows those systems better than he does. It's a good sign that there was some reserve power. Maybe the rest of the circuitry will work. We have nothing new here on the Monolith. Our data confirms yours. It's not moving.