32 quotes
Miscommunication Leads to Chaos and Danger
Chaz Kramer
Why would you do that when you know this isn't my car, John?
John Constantine
I told you to move the car.
Chaz Kramer
Yeah, but if you'd told me you were going to drop a three-hundred pound mirror with a pissed off demon in it, I would have moved it further, John!
Confusion Surrounds Sister's Tragic Death
Angela Dodson
My sister was murdered last night.
John Constantine
Sorry to hear.
Angela Dodson
Thanks. She jumped off the the roof of a building.
John Constantine
I thought you said she was murdered.
Angela Dodson
Yeah, well, Isabel wouldn't have taken her own life.
John Constantine
Of course. What kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy.
Reflections on Protection and Independence
John Constantine
You don't need His protection. It'll be like back in the day.
Seeking Attention in Unwelcome Places
John Constantine
I know I'm not one of Your favorites, and I'm not welcome in Your house, but I could use a little attention, please.
[Speaking to God]
The Duality of Heaven and Hell
John Constantine
Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we're smack in the middle.
Lucifer's Challenge to John Constantine's Soul
Lucifer
No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. You will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Oh, you will live. You will live…
Confronting Inaction Amidst Suffering
John Constantine
Is this neutral? Bullshit! You're the only one playing by the ], Midnite. And while you've been imitating Switzerland, people are dying. Two hundred dollar shirt, by the way.
[As Midnite holds him up against a wall; [rules; Midnite lets him slump to the ground]
Decision-Making in a Complicated Situation
Angela Dodson
So, is this good, or do I have to take off the rest of my clothes?
[Angela is about to transport into Hell via bathtub and has taken off her jacket]
Angela Dodson
John?
John Constantine
I'm thinking.
[smiles slightly]
Consequences of Choices and Beliefs
John Constantine
Why me, Gabriel? It's personal, isn't it? I didn't go to church enough, I didn't pray enough, I was five bucks short in the collection plate. Why?
Gabriel
You're going to die young because you smoked 30 cigarettes a day since you were 15… and you're going to go to hell because of the ] you took. You're fucked.
[[life; pause, Gabriel leans in]
Apprenticeship and Independence in Relationships
Chaz Kramer
When am I going to stop being your slave, John?
John Constantine
You're not my slave, Chaz. You're my much appreciated apprentice, just like Tonto, or Robin, or that ].
[[Don Quixote|skinny fellow with the fat friend]
Debate on Intent and Life Choices
Angela Dodson
You tried to kill yourself.
John Constantine
I didn't try anything.
A Bet Between Heaven and Hell
John Constantine
What if I told you that ] and the Devil made a wager? A bet for the remaining ] on ]?
[[God; [souls; [Earth]
Angela Dodson
I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
John Constantine
] me. No direct contact with Humans. That would be the ]. Just influence.
[[Humor; [rule]
The Devil's Belief in Humanity
Angela Dodson
I don't believe in the Devil.
John Constantine
You should. He believes in you.
Questioning Divine Intentions and Plans
Angela Dodson
I guess ] has a plan for all of us.
[[God]
John Constantine
God's a kid with an ] farm, lady. He's not planning anything.
[[ant]
Concern Over a Girl's Involvement
Midnite
Tell me this isn't about the girl.
[As he is strapping John into the electric chair]
Dark Humor and Deadly Punchlines
John Constantine
He always had a rotten sense of humor. And His punchlines are killers.
Heaven's Requirements: Sacrifice and Belief
Gabriel
You still trying to buy your way into Heaven? … How many times have I told you? That's not the way this works.
John Constantine
Why, haven't I served Him enough? What does He want from me?
Gabriel
Only the usual. Self-sacrifice, belief.
John Constantine
Oh, I believe, for Christ's sake!
Gabriel
No, no. You know. And there's a difference. You've seen.
John Constantine
I never asked to see. I was born with this curse.
Gabriel
A gift, John. One that you've squandered on selfish endeavors.
John Constantine
I'm pulling demons out of little girls. Who's that for?
Gabriel
Everything you've ever done, you've only ever done for yourself—to earn your way back into His good graces!
An Invitation to the Unknown
John Constantine
Welcome to my ].
[Traps a spider under a cigarette-smoke filled glass; [life]
Confrontation in a Supernatural Setting
John Constantine
Hi. My name's John. You are in violation of the ]. Leave immediately, or I will deport you. All of you. Go to Hell.
[to a room full of demons; [Balance; no reaction as John stands on a chair]
Ellie
] ]?
[Chaz Kramer had already put the Holy Cross into the water tank. John pulls the fire-detector, holy water sprinkles down; [Holy; [water]
A Standoff Between Angela and Constantine
Angela Dodson
Hold the ], you're going down.
[asking Constantine to hold elevator; [door]
John Constantine
Not if I can help it.
Seeking Redemption Through Unconventional Means
John Constantine
So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry asses straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my… retirement.
Angela Dodson
I don't understand.
John Constantine
I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go…
Angela Dodson
You're trying to buy your way into heaven.
John Constantine
What would you do if you were sentenced to a ] where half the inmates were put there by you?
[[prison]
Struggles and Faith in Dark Times
Balthazar
] is… you're on your way down. Fresh meat. Finger lickin good.
[[Word; puts fingers in his mouth, hisses, and leans forward]
Balthazar
]? I was ] of this!
[after being sprayed with Dragon's Breath; [Fire; [born]
Balthazar
Don't fight it, Johnny boy, enjoy it.
[as he chokes John to death]
Beeman
I know you never had much ], John, you never had much reason to. But that doesn't mean we never had any faith… in you.
[his last lines; [faith]
Chaz Kramer
This is Kramer. Chas Kramer. Asshole.
Chaz Kramer
Who's the rat in a dress now, bitch?
[to midnite's knocked-out bouncer]
Chaz Kramer
You're right, John. It's not like in the ].
[last words; [books]
Father Hennessy
Hey, John, I think I found you one.
Midnite
I thought I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling.
[after learning of Constantine's cancer]
Midnite
You know the rules of my house! While here, you will abide by them.
[shouts; normal voice]
Midnite
Take him, John. Kill him after.
[laughing, to John, regarding Chaz]
Possessed Girl
Papatayin natin siya.
Introduction of John Constantine's Character
John Constantine
This is Constantine. John Constantine, asshole.
[Whispering into the ear of a possessed girl]
Forgiveness and Redemption in a Dark Context
Balthazar
What are you doing?
John Constantine
I'm reading you your last rites.
Balthazar
Spare me your remedial incantations.
John Constantine
You do know what it is to truly be forgiven? To be welcomed into the Kingdom of God. Demon in heaven, I'd love to be a fly on that wall.
Balthazar
You're not a priest. You have no power.
John Constantine
Just tell me how Mammon is crossing over, and you can go back to your shithole. Okay, Bally, enjoy it.
[Balthazar relents]
John Constantine
By the way… you have to ask for absolution to be forgiven… asshole.
Difficult Conversations and Unwanted Goodbyes
John Constantine
I need you to leave.
Angela Dodson
Okay.
[heads for her room]
John Constantine
The apartment.
John Constantine
God, I hate this part.
Finding Purpose Through Suffering
John Constantine
I guess there's a plan for all of us. I had to die—twice—just to figure that out. Like ] says, ] ]s in ] ways. Some ] like it… some people don't.
[Voice over; [Bible|the book; [God|He; [work; [mysterious; [people]
Questioning the Nature of Divine Judgment
John Constantine
Impossible rules, endless regulations. Who goes up, who goes down? And why?
The Nature of Half-Breeds Explained
John Constantine
Angels and demons can't cross over into our plane. So instead we get what I call "half-breeds". The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. A single ] can give you ], or turn your favorite ] into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch and those part angel, living alongside us. They call it The ]. I call it ] bullshit.
[[word; [courage; [pleasure; [Balance; [hypocritical]
Childhood Memories and Unspoken Connections
Angela Dodson
When my sister and I were little, we'd leave messages with ] and breath.
[[light]