18 quotes
Witnessing the Unbelievable Together
Mike Tobacco
Did you see that?
Debbie Stone
Yeah I saw that! That was incredible!
Space Ice Cream Consumption Warning
Taglines
In Space, No One Can Eat Ice Cream!
Expectation of Wealth from a Celestial Event
Farmer Gene Green
Well I'll be hornswaggled! Did you see that little ole sky doggy zip down there, Pooh? ] Haley's Comet! And it's landed in our backyard! ] This is out lucky day! We gonna be rich! Pooh, we gonna be rich! Thousands of people are comin'! Gonna have hot dogs and helicopters and airplanes and tacos! This is our lucky day! Pooh, we gonna be rich!
[after just witnessing the blinding light; Looks at his comic; Excitedly runs into his house to get his shovel, axe, and pick]
Resilience Amidst Challenging Situations
Curtis Mooney
I made it through Korea I can make it through this bullshit!
Alien Clowns Seek Close Encounters
Taglines
Alien Bozos With An Appetite For Close Encounters.
Mooney's Jail: No Rights for You
Curtis Mooney
I'm supposed to read you your rights. But you're in Mooney's jail, and you ain't got no rights!
Uncertainty in the Face of Danger
Debbie Stone
Do you think it's over?
Mike Tobacco
Yeah, sure.
Circus Theme with Menacing Elements
Taglines
Big Top...Big Shoes...Big Teeth!!
Clowns Offer Treats Amidst Tension
Amusement Park Guard
What are ya gonna do with those pies, boys?
Paul Terenzi
I'm Jo-Jo the ice cream clown with the bestest ice cream in town! We'll give you a stick, you'll give it a lick. And it'll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream! ice cream! We brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let's take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-Wicies, Fudgy-Wudgy bars. And everyone's frozen delight, the Lick-a-Stick!
[as Jo-Jo The Ice Cream Clown]
Debbie Stone
Nobody's gonna put me in a balloon again!
Circus Dreams and Disappointments
Mike Tobacco
God, is this place great, or what? I mean, it looks like it was decorated by "Clowns R Us"!
Debbie Stone
I don't know...
[Feeling a little uneasy]
Mike Tobacco
Hey, didn't you ever want to run away and join the circus?
Debbie Stone
I wanted to run away from the circus.
Mike Tobacco
How come?
Debbie Stone
When I was five years old, my mom and my dad took me to the circus for the first time. Lion tamers, acrobats, tightrope walkers... I guess they were okay. But then, this little car drove up... and stopped right in front of me. Out jumped this huge clown. He jumped over to me... he lifted me right up out of my seat. Everybody was laughing, even my parents. Then he threw me up on his shoulders and he... he ran me out in the center ring. And all the other clowns started dancing around me... honking their horns and squeaking their noses. Their cakey white faces, and yellow eyes and dingy teeth, were tormenting me. I was terrified. I will never forget those horrible smiling faces as long as I live. Ugh!
Mike Tobacco
Hey, don't worry. Nothing in here is going to hurt you.
A Humorous Take on Abduction and Help
Curtis Mooney
They took your wife away in a balloon? Well you don't need the police, pal, you need a psychiatrist!
Curiosity About a Bike's Features
Slug
Mean bike you got there.
[to Tricycle Klown]
Slug
Can I take a ride... pal?
Slug
Can I beep the horn?
Slug
Oh, thank you!
[sarcastically joyous]
Black Biker
Shoulda let the man ride his bike.
Slug
I'm sorry, I... I seem to have broken your bike. What are you gonna do... knock my block off?
[sarcastically remorseful; as Tricycle Klown raises his fists]
Black Biker
Damn!
[amid screams from bikers]
Crazy Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Taglines
(from trailer) Killer Klowns From Outer Space...It's Crazy!
Discovery of Alien Clowns in Circus Tent
Debbie Stone
We were up at "the top of the world" and we saw this shooting star and we decided to go look for it! But instead of finding the shooting star we saw this... this circus tent! And that's when we went inside and that is when we saw those people in those... those pink, cotton candy cocoons! Dave, it was not a circus tent! It was something else!
Dave Hanson
What?! What?!
Mike Tobacco
It was a spaceship! And there was these things! These killer clowns! And they shot popcorn at us! We barely got away!
Curtis Mooney
Killer clowns from outer space? Holy shit!
Horrific Harlequins Seek Close Encounters
Taglines
Horrific Harlequins With An Appetite For Close Encounters!
Farmer's Frustration Over Missing Dog
Farmer Gene Green
What in tarnation is going on here! Where's my dog?! Where's my Pooh Bear?! I'LL TEAR THIS THING APART WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!
[Discovering Pooh has been dognapped]
Farmer Gene's Curious Circus Encounter
Farmer Gene Green
Well I'll be greased and fried! What in blue blazes is the circus doing here in these parts? I love the circus! Come on! Maybe we can get some free passes. I've never seen one that looked like this un before. Well... I don't know Pooh, you know there's something kinda peculiar around here. Where is everybody? There's nobody around. Where's the dang ticket booth? How are we supposed to get in and see the show?
[Encountering the Big Top; Noticing the purple lights on the tent's cables; A shadow from inside the tent follows them]
Prioritizing Danger Over Ice Cream Sales
Paul Terenzi
Mike, what do you want us to do? We've got ice cream to sell tonight.
Mike Tobacco
Paul, this is more serious than selling ice cream. There's clowns going around killing people. We're all in danger.