24 quotes
Bad Cop Dynamic in Action
Riggs
Shut up.
Leo
Okay, I get it. Bad cop, good cop.
Murtaugh
Shut up.
Leo
Okay, okay, bad cop, bad cop. I know the routine.
Taking Matters into My Own Hands
Martin Riggs
Don’t bother to call the police, I'm here already.
A Request for Affection Amidst Chaos
Martin Riggs
Give us a kiss before they come.
[Injured, being held by Murtaugh, he hears sirens approaching]
A Request for Reluctant Emigration Advice
Consulate Envoy
What can I do for you today?
Leo
Okay, I have this problem, this very delicate matter. I have a friend of mine, wants to emigrate to South Africa.
Consulate Envoy
Yes, of course. I can certainly help him do that.
Leo
Oh sure. But I want you to talk him out of it.
Consulate Envoy
Talk him out of it?
Leo
Yeah.
Consulate Envoy
Whatever for?
Leo
W-well, you see, this is such a bad time for him to go to South Africa. I mean with all the trouble and everything, okay.
Consulate Envoy
Look, why don’t you ask your friend to come back later in the week. We can sit down-
Leo
No, he’s here. He’s here.
Consulate Envoy
He’s here?
Leo
Yeah, he’s here now.
Consulate Envoy
Where?
Leo
Alphonse! Alphonse?
Murtaugh
How you doing?
Consulate Envoy
I think there must be some mistake.
[dumbstruck]
Murtaugh
Say what?
Consulate Envoy
Sir, listen to your friend, here. He knows what he’s talking about. I don’t think you want to go to South Africa.
Murtaugh
Why not?
Consulate Envoy
B-Because you’re black.
Leo
You are. He is.
[to Murtaugh; to Envoy]
Murtaugh
Of course I'm black. That’s why I wanna go to South Africa. To join up with my oppressed brothers. To take up the struggle against the tyranny of the racist, fascist, white, minority regime!
Leo
White, fascist regime!
Murtaugh
One man, one vote!
Leo
One man, one vote!
Murtaugh
Free South Africa, you dumb son of a bitch!
Leo
...ya dumb son of a bitch!
A Bad Reputation and Unpredictable Behavior
Martin Riggs
I’m surprised you haven't heard about me, you know, I got a bad reputation, sometimes I just go nuts, like now.
[Crazy giggle]
Professional Boundaries in Unconventional Conversations
Riggs
Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
Dr. Woods
My door is always open, Sergeant.
Riggs
Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?
Dr. Woods
Why do you do this to yourself, Riggs?
Riggs
Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.
[Indicates the other cops]
Request for Identification and Insurance Verification
Martin Riggs
I'd like to see your driver's license and proof of insurance!
[While hanging onto the hood of a car]
Avoiding Unwanted Tuna Choices
Leo
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me! Fellas!
Murtaugh
What?
Leo
Excuse me, guys. This is tuna. I hate tuna, okay? I refuse to get stuck with tuna. Now, come on.
Murtaugh
Hey, Leo, don't eat the tuna.
Leo
Oh, where were you? I just said that. I'm not eating this. I'm not eating tuna. Come on. Let's go back.
Murtaugh
We're not goin back. So, just shut up!
Leo
Oh, sure. Don't go back. Okay. Okay, don't go back. That's it. Can I give you two guys a friendly piece of advice, okay? Don't ever go up to the drive-thru! Okay? Always walk up to the counter. You know why? Okay. Okay. They fuck you at the drive-thru! Okay?! They fuck you at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! Okay? They know you're not gonna turn around and go back. So they don't care. Who gets fucked? Oh, Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eatin this tuna! Okay?!
Riggs and Murtaugh
SHUT UP!!
Confrontation Over Personal Loss and Orders
Murtaugh
Riggs, we’re not going to the fucking stilt house. We’re under orders!
Riggs
Well then the stilt house is gonna have to come to me. You don’t understand, Rog, they killed them both. They killed them both. They got Rika and my wife.
Confrontation and camaraderie in action.
Martin Riggs
We're back, we're bad. You're black, I'm mad. Let’s go!
Life and Death: A Defiant Reminder
Roger Murtaugh
You're breathing, you're alive, you’re not dead. No, don’t die. You're not dead until I tell I tell you, you got that? You got that, Riggs? You’re not dead until I tell you. You got that, Riggs! You’re not dead until I tell you.
Revocation of Diplomatic Immunity
Rudd
Diplomatic immunity.
Murtaugh
It’s just been revoked.
A Bet on the Driver's Choice
Cavanaugh
20 bucks on Riggs and Murtaugh.
Cop #2
Who’s driving?
Captain Murphy
Murtaugh. In his wife’s station wagon.
Cop #2
I'll take that bet!
Cavanaugh
I knew nothing about the wife’s station wagon. Bet’s off!
Captain Murphy
Hey! Shut up!
Advocating for Equality in South Africa
Roger Murtaugh
Of course I'm black. That’s why I wanna go to South Africa. To join up with my oppressed brothers. To take up the struggle against the tyranny of the racist, fascist, white, minority regime!...One man, one vote!...Free South Africa, you dumb son of a bitch!
Misunderstanding in a Family Conversation
Murtaugh
Trish, take the kids upstairs.
[Calmly]
Carrie
Daddy, we learn about this every day in human devolvement.
Murtaugh
In human what?! Human development what?! Trish!
Carrie
Development, Daddy. Chill out.
Murtaugh
Human development?!
Trish
Come on guys, upstairs. Nick, upstairs. You know how your father is.
A Personal Mission Beyond the Badge
Martin Riggs
I’m not a cop tonight, Roger, it’s personal. I’m not a cop.
Cultural Commentary on Ownership and Influence
Murtaugh
Japanese?
Riggs
Well, it’s a Japanese radio.
Murtaugh
Maybe they bought the LAPD too.
Riggs
They own everything else.
Defiance in the Face of Danger
Martin Riggs
No, man. I didn't die on your toilet, I'm not gonna die in your arms.
Babysitting a Key Witness in Protective Custody
Captain Murphy
I got something special for you boys. A guy by the name of Getz, Leo Getz has been placed in protective custody. And you two guys are gonna babysit him until Washington sends out the feds.
Riggs
How long?
Captain Murphy
Soon as all the red tape is processed. Couple, three days. This guy Getz is gonna testify before a commission of inquiry. Drugs, laundered money, et cetera, et cetera. This is not a shit assignment.
Riggs
Yes, it is.
Captain Murphy
No, it isn’t.
Murtaugh
It is.
[coughs from Riggs' smoke]
Captain Murphy
It isn’t.
Murtaugh
Captain, it’s a shit assignment.
Captain Murphy
Shut up, the both of ya.
Captain Murphy
I guaranteed this guy’s safety.
Murtaugh
Why us?
Captain Murphy
Because you two are the most qualified for the job. And, after last night, you could use the break.
Murtaugh
I can handle last night.
Riggs
What are we supposed to do with him?
Captain Murphy
How the hell should I know? Take him to Disneyland.
Riggs
Oh, this stinks. This stinks. This stinks!
Captain Murphy
I don’t give a fuck, Riggs. That’s why I don’t have an ulcer, because I know when to say, "I don’t give a fuck." Now here’s where he’s staying. It’s a nice hotel; all the expenses are being picked up by the Justice Dept, so enjoy yourselves. And Riggs, one more thing!
Riggs
What?
[turns back]
Captain Murphy
You know what that says?
[tosses him a small "no smoking" sign]
Riggs
Yeah, yeah, same thing as that. But I don’t give a fuck.
[points to the larger sign next to him on the door, smirking; throws the small placard back and walks out]
Murtaugh
You’re lucky. I have to live with that.
[wafts the smoke away from him]
The Perks of Being a Detective
Martin Riggs
I’m a Peeping Tom, Rog, it goes with the badge. And it's fun sometimes, too.
Facing Mortality in Unlikely Places
Murtaugh
I'm gonna die on the toilet.
Riggs
Guys like you don't die on toilets.
Confrontation Over Police Warfare
Riggs
Don’t try and stop me, Rog.
Murtaugh
Yeah, I’ve seen that look in your eyes before.
Riggs
They declared war on the police.
Murtaugh
You know about that?
Riggs
I heard it on the radio.
Murtaugh
We don’t have the authority.
Riggs
Cavanaugh...Wyler...Shapiro...Rika, Vicky— How much fucking authority do you need?
Murtaugh
You got a plan?
Riggs
Drive around the front of the house...wait for my signal...and then just go in and shoot those fuckers.
Murtaugh
They got Leo.
Riggs
Be careful.
[look to Murtaugh]
Murtaugh
Wait. What’s your signal?
Riggs
You’ll know it when it happens.
Murtaugh
Somehow, I think I will know.