19 quotes
Frustration with Ignorance and Stupidity
George Caldwell
You stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard! Jesus Christ, I met some dumb bastards in time, but you outdo them all! Get over there!
Frustration Expressed in Strong Language
George Caldwell
Son of a bitch!
[running gag whenever he's ejected from the train in any manner]
Dining Experience on the Silver Streak
Devereau
The Silver Streak does have its drawbacks, but please try the marmalade. They do provide an excellent cuisine.
Grover
Oh, thank you, sir. I'll tell the boys in the kitchen. We aims to please. Coffee, miss?
Hilly
No, thanks.
Grover
He ain't bullshittin about the cuisine.
Devereau
Steward?
Grover
Is that your lady, man? She's somethin else.
Devereau
Steward!
Grover
Stand up, mama. Let me get a look at you.
Devereau
Steward!
Grover
Mm, mm, mm! Have mercy!
Devereau
Steward, you may go.
Grover
Just a little more coffee?
Devereau
No, thank you.
Grover
Half a cup? Oh, sorry, sir. Look what I've done.
[pours coffee in Devereau's lap]
Devereau
You... Get out of...
Grover
See what I've done...
Devereau
You ignorant nigger!
Grover
Who you callin nigger, huh? You don't know me well enough to call me no nigger! I'll slap the taste out your mouth! You don't even know my name! I'll whoop your ass! Beat the white off your ass!
[pulling a gun]
Hilly
Who are you?
Grover
I'm a thief.
George
It's all right, Hilly. He's a friend of mine.
Hilly
Hello.
Grover
Hi.
Hilly
Hi.
Grover
So this is Mister Big?
George
That's the man.
Grover
You ain't saying shit now, Mister Big.
[to Devereau]
Devereau
I must admit that I'm slightly at a loss for words. But on the other hand, I should warn you that you are a killer and you are wanted by the police in every state and I recommend that you, uh, be careful.
George Caldwell
You're the killer who's wanted by the police in every state. That man you had shot wasn't a vitamin salesman, he was a federal agent. They've been after you for two years, ever since that plane crash in Cologne, Germany, when you caused a hundred people to die just to cover up your link with the scandal at the Metropolitan Gallery. So why don't we get them the proof that they wanted? Let's go and get the Rembrandt letters. Get up.
[points the gun at Devereau]
Roger Devereau
If you insist.
The Benefits of Small Spaces for Juggling
George
I can't get over the size of this room without the partition. They are small rooms by themselves.
Hilly
They're perfect for juggling.
George
For what?
Hilly
For juggling. When you practice...the balls would always bounce off the walls.
George
Do you juggle a lot?
Hilly
I know what goes where and why.
George
I like that song. If I ever hear it again...it'll be difficult not to think of you.
Hilly
You put that very nicely.
George
Thanks. To traveling by train.
Hilly
Trains that pass in the night.
Confrontation Between Grover and Sheriff Chauncey
Sheriff Chauncey
Hello, Car 36, what the hell happened to you guys?
Grover Muldoon
Hey Chauncey, this is Grover T. Muldoon. You wanna know what happened? We just whooped your ass. We whooped your ass. Ha ha ha!
[into the radio]
Discussion of Rembrandt's Status
Sheriff Chauncey
Is he with the Feds?
George
Who?
Sheriff Chauncey
This guy Rembrandt.
George
Rembrandt is dead.
Sheriff Chauncey
Dead? That makes four. Listen, fella, are you sure you're not making this up as you go along? I'm an officer of the law and I got a lot better things to do than listen to that kind of funnin'.
Sheriff Chauncey
That's my hotline. Now you take your time to get your facts straight cause when I come back I want your answers clear and to the point. Got that? And you can start with who shot Rembrandt!
Disguises and Demands in Silver Streak
Grover
Give me the gun. Now, give me your wallet.
[George hands him the gun]
George
What the...
Grover
I gotta buy a disguise...a porter's uniform.
George
You know, these disguises are getting expensive.
Grover
What can I say, man? Crime costs.
Navigating Confusion and Humor in Conversation
George
What do you think?
Grover
I think you better make a right up here and then a sharp left. I'm coming over.
Grover
Jesus Christ, man! That's how you murdered your victims? Put em in a car and bounced em to death?
George
Sorry!
Grover
Sorry, my ass! You dangerous. Proves one thing, though: you don't do this for no living.
George
No I don't.
Grover
What are you slowing down for?
George
There's a truck up ahead.
Grover
So....there is a truck up ahead. Be a man! Let's turn on the siren. Let's get them hippies off the road. Put some foot in it!!
[George begins to accelerate and overtake the truck]
George
Would you like to drive for a while?
The Unpredictability of Love and Memory
Grover
You thinking about her?
George
Yeah. Crazy thing is I just met her two nights ago.
Grover
That's the way love is. I always lose my memory when I fall in love.
Embracing Calm in Chaotic Situations
Grover
Take it easy, killer. Stay loose.
[driving away in a stolen car]
Hilly
What's he doing?
George
He's crazy.
Hilly
Crazy? He's got the right idea. Let's get out of here and go to a park.
George
A park?
Hilly
Yeah, I wanna lie back on the grass and have you teach me some more about gardening.
Train Without a Driver Raises Concerns
George Caldwell
Is there any way to get to the engine from here?
Ralston
There's no way to get to the engine at all. How come we're going so fast?
George Caldwell
There's nobody driving the train.
Ralston
Oh, that's impossible. The train would stop.
George Caldwell
Does it look like it is stopping to you?
Ralston
Sure in the hell don't. I'm gonna pull the emergency brake.
[looks out the window]
Grover Muldoon
The emergency brakes have been cut.
Ralston
Damn hippies!
[pauses]
Publishing Diverse Genres in Conversation
Hilly
What do you publish?
George
Oh, mostly nonfiction. Gardening, cook books, how-to-do-it books.
Hilly
Like sex manuals?
George
I've edited a few.
Hilly
An authority, huh?
George
I know what goes where...and why.
Hilly
That's very interesting. Are you married?
George
Divorced.
Hilly
How come?
George
My friends all told me that my wife was too good for me...and after a couple of years I decided they were right.
A Lesson in Unfamiliar Tasks
George
Milk her? I've never milked a cow before.
Rita
Cut the gas, Steve, you're a grown man. I'm sure you've had some similar experience. Look, you just sit down, take a tit in each hand and let nature take its course.
[laughs]
Embracing Confidence and Self-Expression
George
Come on, man, get some jive goin'. Be cool. Shake it, but don't break it. Yeah! Hey man, how do I look? You look sharp, brother. I feel sharp! You hear? I feel like the sun around midnight. You dig? Outta sight! Get down! Get down! Feelin good! Feelin fine! Feelin real fine! That's it. Just loosen up those hips, sugar. All you whiteys got a tight ass. Yeah, get that ass movin there. Outta sight! I'm a macaroni! Get down! I'm the king! Number one, baby! Um, um, I'm not...
[to himself, in the mirror; Shoe Shiner enters]
Changing Plans and Unexpected Opinions
Grover
I'm following the plan. Just changed my mind.
[attempting to hotwire a Jaguar]
George
Are you crazy? I thought we were gonna take the Chevy in back.
Grover
Chevy? That's a jerk-off, man. This here is pure pussy.
George
Pure pussy? Tell that to the judge.
Grover
Don't worry about no judge, Man. This thing gonna get us to Kansas City on time.
George
How about jail? Did you know that the office is right in front of us?
Embracing Rhythm and Confidence Through Music
Grover Muldoon
That's bad, man! You're lookin good! Now here, take this radio. When you step out of here, step out like King Shit. You bad! Put that radio to your ear. That's gonna help cover your face. Just move with the rhythm of the music. Move your body with the rhythm of the music. That's all you gotta remember, okay? Let me see you try it. Step to the music. Step to the music. Yeah. Step to the music. Stop. How come you whiteys got such a tight ass, man? How are you gonna walk outta here with a tan face and that white walk? Just get into the music. Come on, George. Loosen up. Listen to the beat. Let your feet move. Now, do it! Can't you feel it? The tempo's right here. Right in there. That's all you gotta do. Yeah, now try it! Don't you feel it? Yeah. Needs work, George. Needs a lot of work. You know that? Will you practice? Man, you gotta practice, but let it be loose! Listen to the music. Follow the beat. Hear?
[to George]
Most Hilarious Suspense Ride Ever
Taglines
It's the Most Hilarious Suspense Ride of Your Life!
Hilarious suspense ride awaits you
Taglines
By plane, by train, by the edge of your seat, it's the most hilarious suspense ride of your life!