The Great Race poster

The Great Race Quotes

"The movie with 20,000-miles or one-million-laughs guarantee!"

NR 1965 · 2h 40m · Adventure, Action, Comedy, Western, Romance
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23 quotes
The Great Race
Miscommunication in a Race Against Time
Max Professor, Where are you?
Professor Fate Behind the rock!
Max Behind which rock?
[falls over the professor]
Professor Fate This rock you idiot!
The Great Race
The Ultimate Comedy Experience
Taglines THE GREAT LAUGH SHOW OF ALL TIME!
The Great Race
Gender and Perception in Achievement
Maggie DuBois You mean amazing because I'm a woman.
The Great Race
Prepared to Confront Any Threat
Professor Fate Thieves, brigands and cut-throats of all nations may hound us... but we are ready for them... we shall blast them into Kingdom Come.
The Great Race
Prince Hapnik's Declaration of Banishment
Prince Hapnik I don't care! I don't care! You're banished! I'm getting an new tucker-inner. Banished, banished, banished!
[throwing flour at General Kuhster]
The Great Race
Challenge to the Great Leslie
Professor Fate I'd like to see the Great Leslie try THAT one!
[covered in feathers after crashing during a stunt]
The Great Race
Countdown to a Critical Moment
The Great Leslie Thirty seven inches to go.
[measuring the iceberg]
Professor Fate Oh, 37 inches to go. Huzzah! At the rate we've been melting, that's good for about one more week!
The Great Leslie You'd better keep it to yourself.
Professor Fate Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself. Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm gonna mention it to SOMEBODY!
The Great Race
Professor Fate's Command to Max
Professor Fate Fate:Push the button, Max!
The Great Race
Professor Fate Commands Max to Activate Smokescreen
Professor Fate Smokescreen Max! Give them the smokescreen! No, you idiot! The smokescreen! Push the button, Max!
[the men of the Sheriff of Boracho wearing indian hats are approaching them from behind believing they are going to attack him]
The Great Race
A Challenge to Bravado and Courage
The Great Leslie You talk a good fight, but when it comes down to it, you're as emancipated as a confirmed spinster in a knitting bee.
[to Maggie DuBois]
The Great Race
Blame for the Chaos Unveiled
Prince Hapnik You! You're the cause of it all! It was your idea!
[after throwing a pie at General Kuhster]
The Great Race
A Command to Push the Button
Professor Fate Push the button, Max!
[on numerous occasions.]
The Great Race
Fight or Flight in The Great Race
Lily Olay I ain't no native, I was born here!
Texas Jack NOW can I have me some fightin room?!
[several times during a saloon fight]
Baron von Stuppe As ] once said, He who fights and runs away may live to fight another day'. So, until another day, Mr. Leslie, please excuse me, I have a boat waiting!
[[Oliver Goldsmith|a very wise English gentleman]
The Great Race
Humorous Exchange About Car Number Five
Professor Fate Genius, Max, positive genius! What's next?
Max Car number 5, the engine falls out!
Professor Fate Car number 5, hah hah hah hah! Uh Max... we're number 5.
The Great Race
Professor Fate's Remarks on Leslie's Options
Professor Fate Well, there's another one, Leslie can try on for size.
[after crash landing into a mud puddle in the farm during a stunt]
The Great Race
Unexpected Escape with a Chicken
Professor Fate Escaped?
General Kushter With a small friar.
Professor Fate Leslie escaped with a chicken?
The Great Race
Multilingual Skills of Maggie DuBois
Maggie DuBois I speak, read, and write French... Russian... and Arabic.
The Great Race
A Curse from Professor Fate
Professor Fate A pox on you!
[to Maggie, after Maggie accidentally destroy his garage while confronting the dogs]
The Great Race
Professor Fate's Challenge of Hatred
Professor Fate I hate you! You, I hate! You, whose clothes are always white, and whose hair is always combed, and whose car is always clean! I refuse to accept! I challenge you to another race!
[to Leslie, after Leslie allows him to win the race due to him proving his love for Maggie Dubois rather than beating him]
The Great Race
Unexpected Guest in the Car
Professor Fate My apologies, there's a polar bear in our car.
The Great Leslie If you don't leave this car immediately, I shall personally feed you to the bear.
The Great Race
A Journey of Laughter and Adventure
Taglines The movie with 20,000-mile or one-million-laughs guarantee!
The Great Race
Prince Hapnik's Call for More Brandy
Prince Hapnik Ulp? Brandy? Hah-hah, throw more brandy! Throw brandy! More Brandy! Rum! I never mix my pies. I want to play, too.
[after getting a pie in the face; gets a second pie in the face]
The Great Race
Emancipation Through Mutual Support and Empowerment
Maggie DuBois Women have to emancipate themselves in order to emancipate men. So they can emancipate each other where it counts the most.