13 quotes
Tension Over Money and Threats
Jack
You're going to pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you want to see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm going to take the fine out on your friend's legs! I'm going to break them with this tire iron!
Dudley
Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack
Fine! I'll break his hands!
Dudley
Oh, damn it. Bring the money!
Suburban Riders Encounter Road Challenges
Taglines
Four guys from the suburbs hit the road... and the road hit back.
Online Training for Law Enforcement Humor
Doug
You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley
Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training, they just told us to play Doom!
Chili Preferences and Flirting in Wild Hogs
Maggie
That's too bad. I wanted you to try to kill my chili. It's pretty hot.
Dudley
No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss. Eat.
Inappropriate Humor and Romantic Interests
Dudley
She is perfect.
[upon seeing Maggie]
Doug
You like the waitress?
Dudley
Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby
Like which ones?
Dudley
I forget.
Bobby
Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped.
Dudley
Would that be funny?
Bobby
I'll be laughing. Oh, I'll be cracking up.
Generational Perspectives on Gender Roles
Bobby's Mother-In-Law
In my days, The ladies stayed at home, not lazy MEN!
Bobby
In your days, The men had pyramids to build. HOW OLD IS THAT!?!?
Bobby's Mother-In-Law
HOLY.
[shocked]
Parade Plans and Blinker Woes
Dudley
I'm looking to the parade this year. I got little Tootsie Rolls to throw to the kids.
Woody
Tootsie Rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out.
Journeying Through Uncertainty on the Road
Taglines
A lot can happen on the road to nowhere.
Uncomfortable Tension Among Friends
Bobby
Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?
[after being called out by Jack]
Red
I do.
[grinning]
Consequences of Misusing Firearms
Charley
Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby
You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley
Yeah.
Frustration Over Unfair Labor Compensation
Woody
Well go home, Toby! You make me sick!
[a large yard is full of a bunch of leaves]
Toby
I can't do this many leaves for $10!