30 quotes
Routine Maintenance and Unexpected Encounters
Max Skinner
Hello. Oh no, don't worry about me. I'm...I'm the pool man. I do this every Thursday, its just routine maintenance. Its been lovely chatting to you. And,and you are a spectacular vision... Any chance for a rope or a ladder?
[To Fanny Chenal]
Critique of Intelligence and Positioning
Max Skinner
The only thing right about your intelligence is that its all wrong. But you were always at the back of the Conga line.
Complimenting Taste in a Tie
Max Skinner
Such a lovely tie. Do tell your mother I admire her taste.
Impatience with Wine Appreciation
Max Skinner
I shall have an Eclipse.I'm too impatient to be a wine lover.If I'm gonna get drunk, I don't want to spend all night doing it.
The Honest Nature of Wine
Uncle Henry Skinner
Max, have I told you why I enjoy making wine so much?
Young Max
You don't make the wine, Uncle Henry - that guy Duflot does.
Uncle Henry Skinner
In France it's always the landowner who makes the wine, even though he does nothing more than supervise with binoculars from the comfort of his study. No, I enjoy making wine, because this sublime nectar is quite simply incapable of lying. Picked too early, picked too late, it matters not - the wine will always whisper into your mouth with complete, unabashed honesty every time you take a sip.
[reproachfully]
Appreciation for the Desert's Cleanliness
Max Skinner
What is it, Major Lawrence, that attracts you, personally, to the desert?... Its clean. I like it because its clean!
Max's Dark Humor Towards Kenny
Max Skinner
Kenny, why don't you go and find some small animals to hurt? I know, find a poodle and punt it off the balcony.
Nurturing What Is Good in Life
Uncle Henry Skinner
Once you find something good Max, you need to take care of it. You need to let it grow.
Demanding Control in the Office
Max Skinner
Kenny, I want the 10 year yield, I want the figures for the Andserson account and I want you to get your scrawny little backside out of my chair. Thank you.
The Wisdom of Losing and Winning
Uncle Henry Skinner
You'll come to see that a man learns nothing from winning. The act of losing, however, can elicit great wisdom. Not least of which is, uh... how much more enjoyable it is to win. It's inevitable to lose now and again. The trick is not to make a habit of it.
Conflicting Perspectives on Life and Place
Max Skinner
This place does not suit my life.
Fanny Chenal
No Max, it's your life that does not suit this place.
Phone Call Between Gemma and Kimberly
Gemma
Max Skinner's phone?
Kimberly
Hi, it's Kimberly. Is Max there?
Gemma
Just one moment. It's Kimberly?
[to Max]
Gemma
Sorry Kimberly, Max isn't here right now.
Kimberly
Where is he?
Gemma
Max and his fiancée are at their wedding rehearsal today.
Kimberly
Their what?
Gemma
Would you like to leave a message?
Kimberly
No I wouldn't!
Authority and Nicknames in the Workplace
Max Skinner
Boss, why do you keep calling me ALF? Because, as you're an aggressive little f*ck. As your boss and genetic superior, I can call you anything I want.
Unresolved Tensions from a Christmas Party
Max Skinner
Admit it, Love, this is because I wouldn't shag you at the Christmas Party, isn't it?
Finding Joy in Unusual Places
Max Skinner
Pardon my lips. They find joy in the most unusual places.
Predictable Outcomes in Storytelling
Uncle Henry Skinner
Given the title, I don't think you'll be surprised by the ending.
[on the book "Death in Venice"]
Advice on Handling Difficult Situations
Max Skinner
I'll give you a tip Bert. Never pat a burning dog.
Desire for Love and Wine
Max Skinner
I would like a lifetime spent with an irrational and suspicious goddess, some short-tempered jealousy on the side, and a bottle of wine that tastes like you, a glass that's never empty.
Temporary Custodian of a Rental Car
Max Skinner
Uh, yes. I'm the temporary custodian of the lime green roller skate, but its a hired car, a rental. It's not for sale.
Wisdom in Unlikely Places
Uncle Henry Skinner
Well done. Proves the adage that wisdom can be found in the most unlikely places.
The Significance of a Good Blue Suit
Uncle Henry Skinner
I thought, as it's your last night here, it only appropriate that we open something extra special.
[bringing out two bottles of wine]
Young Max
Bandol.
[pointing to one of the bottles]
Uncle Henry Skinner
Excellent choice. Tempier Bandol, 1969, the kind of wine that'll pickle even the toughest of men. I once saw a Castilian prizefighter collapse in a heap after drinking just a single glass. Perhaps my knee landing squarely in his testicles may have been partly to blame... What was I talking about before?
Young Max
You said the importance of a good blue suit can never be overstated.
Uncle Henry Skinner
Quite right. A blue suit is the most versatile of accoutrements. More important than the suit itself, is the man who fits it for you. Once you find a good tailor, you must never give his name away - not even under the threat of bodily harm.
Making a Decision at the Restaurant
Fanny Chenal
Bonjour. Vous avez choisi?
[Fanny approaches a customer who is behind a raised newspaper]
Max Skinner
I think so.
[lowers newspaper]
Fanny Chenal
You sure you don't need more time?
[recognizing him]
Max Skinner
No, I know what I want.
Fanny Chenal
You're sure?
Max Skinner
Absolutely.
Fanny Chenal
So, what is it to be?
Max Skinner
How's the soup?
Fanny Chenal
The soup is finished.
Max Skinner
Like my job... The fish?
Fanny Chenal
We've run out.
Max Skinner
That's like me with excuses.
Fanny Chenal
Don't waste my time. Choose something we have.
Max Skinner
I would like a lifetime spent with an irrational and suspicious goddess, some short-tempered jealousy on the side, and a bottle of wine that tastes like you, a glass that's never empty.
[they kiss]
Change of scenery, change of heart
Taglines
Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to have a change of heart.
Culinary Locations in France
Max Skinner
MacDonalds is in Avignon, fish and chips in Marseille. Allez.