A Knight's Tale Quotes

Count Adhemar You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?

Geoffrey Chaucer I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity.

William I'm Ulrich von Lichtenstein, from Gelderland, and these are my faithful squires. Delves, of Dodgington, and Falhurst, of Crew.

Chaucer I'm Richard the Lionheart, pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne! No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!

William All right, hold your tongue, sir, or lose it.

Chaucer Now, you see, that I do believe... Sir Ulrich.

Adhemar Your armour, sir.

William What about it?

Adhemar How stylish of you to joust in an antique. You'll start a new fashion if you win. My grandfather will be able to wear his in public again, and a shield, how quaint.

William Hyah!

Adhemar Some of these poor country knights, little better than peasants.

Taglines He didn't make the rules. He was born to break them.

Chaucer And one and two and three and four and your hands should be light like a birdie on a branch. And one and two and three and four and Wat doesn't lead he follows like a girl. And one and two and twirlie twirlie twirlie! And one and two and you're still getting it wrong! And one and two and three and four you can hit me all day cause you punch like a... what?

Roland A girl!

Taglines He Will Rock You.

Geoffrey Chaucer My lords, my ladies, and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion! Today... today, you find yourselves equals! For you are all equally blessed! For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword! Next, he amazed me still further in Italy, when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishings of her dreadful Turkish uncle! In Greece, he spent a year in silence, just to better understand the sound... of a whisper. And so, without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir UUUUUlrich von Lichtenstein! Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week!

Adhemar Colville withdraws. Ulrich advances. Why didn’t Ulrich finish him?

Jocelyn He showed mercy.

Adhemar Then he shows his weakness. That’s all mercy is.

Geoffrey Chaucer Good people! I missed my introduction! But please... please, I pray you, hear it now! For I would lay rest the grace in my tongue and speak plainly. Days like these are far too rare to cheapen with heavy-handed words. And so, I'm afraid without any ado whatsoever — excuse me, My Lord — here he is! One of your own! Born a stone's throw from this very stadium, and here before you now! The son of John Thatcher... Sir Wiiiiiilliam Thatcheeer!

Jocelyn I've come to see what you'll wear to banquet tonight.

William Nothing.

Jocelyn Well, then we'll cause a sensation, for I'll dress to match.

William Don't you ever get tired of putting on clothes?

Chaucer Um, I believe she's talking about taking them off, my lord.

Jocelyn A flower is only as good as its petals. Don't you think?

William A flower is good for nothing.

Jocelyn Really?

William You can't eat a flower, a flower can't keep your warm...

Jocelyn And a rose never knocked a man off a horse either.

William You're just a silly girl, aren't you?

Jocelyn Better a silly girl with a flower, than a silly boy with a horse and a stick...

Wat It's called a lance... hello... ?

Wat You have been weighed.

Roland You have been measured.

Kate And you absolutely...

Chaucer Have been found wanting.

William Welcome to the New World. God save you, if it is right that he should do so.

Taglines From peasant to knight; one man can change his stars.

William Oi, sir! What are you doing?

Chaucer Uh... trudging. You know, trudging? To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.

William Uhhh... were you robbed?

Chaucer Uh, interesting question actually. Yes, and then at the same time a huge, resounding no. It's more a sort of involuntary vow of poverty... really. But you know, on the brighter side, trudging does represent pride. Pride, resolve and faith in the Good Lord Almighty, please, Christ, rescue me from my current tribula-- OW! ...lations.

Prince Edward What a pair we make, huh? Both trying to hide who we are, both unable to do so. Your men love you. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough. But you also tilt when you should withdraw... and that is knightly, too. Release him. He may appear to be of humble origins, but my personal historians have discovered that he is descended from an ancient royal line. This is my word... and, as such, is beyond contestation. Now, if I may repay the kindness you once showed me... take a knee. By the power vested in me by my father, King Edward, and by all the witnesses here, I dub thee Sir William. Arise... Sir William. Can you joust?

William What?

Prince Edward There's my tournament to finish. Now, are you fit to compete, or shall the forfeit stand?

William No, I'm fit.

Prince Edward I shall have your opponent informed of it. You look for his shield in the lists... at once.

William Thank you, my lord.

Old Bishop Does this not shock you, ladies?

Jocelyn Certainly, my lord, I just, I only laugh just to keep from weeping.

Old Bishop Beauty is such a curse. Pray your years come swiftly for you, pray your beauty fades that you may better serve God.

Jocelyn Oh, and I do, my lord. I pray for it all the time. Why, God, did you curse me with this face?

Old Bishop God's will has a purpose, but we may not know it.

Jocelyn Oh, that is lovely...

William I'll ride in his place.

Roland What's your name, William? I'm asking you, William Thatcher, to answer me with your name. It's not Sir William. It's not Count, or Duke or Earl William. It's certainly not King William.

William I'm aware of that.

Roland You have to be of noble birth to compete!

William A detail. The landscape is food. Do you want to eat or don't you?

Roland If the nobles find out who you are, there'll be the devil to pay.

William Then pray that they don't.

Jocelyn Damn your pride, William. It is you and only you that will not see you run.

William My pride is the only thing that they can't take from me.

Jocelyn They can take it away from you, they can and they will. Oh, they will. But love they cannot take.