32 quotes
Discussing Ex-Partner's Involvement with Child
Suzie
May I ask, does your ex see Ned at all?
Will
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
Suzie
Suzie.
Will
Suzie. She doesn't see much of him, no.
Suzie
How does he cope with that?
Will
He's a very good little boy. Very, very brave. They've got amazing resources, don't they? Just the other day I was thinking about my ex. He came crawling up, put his little pudgy arms around my neck, and he said: "You hang in there, Dad.
Suzie
God, that's amazing for a 2-year-old!
Will
Is it? Yeah, he's very special. Very, very special. Sometimes I think, you know, he's the one taking care of me. Teaching me the ways of the world.
Addressing Morning Tears and Depression
Will
The crying in the morning thing, the depression. Let's get that fixed.
Forgotten Letter of Love and Concern
Marcus
I got the letter. Thanks.
Fiona
Oh my God. I'd forgotten.
Marcus
You forgot? You forgot a suicide letter?
Fiona
Well I didn't think I'd have to remember it, did I? Did you read the part where I said I'd always love you?
Marcus
It's a bit hard for you to love me when you're dead, isn't it?
Fiona
I can understand why you're angry, Marcus. But I don't feel the same as I did yesterday, if it's any help.
Marcus
What? It's all gone away? All that?
Fiona
No, but, for the moment, I feel better.
Marcus
The moment's no good for me. I can see you feel better at the moment. You just put the kettle on. What happens when you finish your tea? What happens when I go back to school? I can't be here to watch you all the time!
The Importance of Community Over Couples
Marcus
I used to think two wasn't enough. Now there were loads of people... I don't know what Will was so upset about. All I meant was I don't think couples are the future. You need more than that. You need backup. The way I saw it, Will and I both had backup now. It's like that thing he told me Jon Bon Jovi said: "No man is an island.
[Thinking]
The Solo Show of Life
Will
The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. I was the star of The Will Show. And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but I was the regular. It came down to me, and me alone. If Marcus mum couldn't manage her own show if her ratings were falling, it was sad, but that was her problem. Ultimately, the whole single-mum plot line was a bit complicated for me.
A Witty Exchange on Loneliness and Parenthood
Christine
You will end up childless and alone.
Will
Well, fingers crossed, yeah.
A Shallow Assessment of Parenthood
Will
You must be joking. I couldn't possibly think of a worse godfather for Imogene. You know me. I'll drop her at her christening. I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th, when I'll take her out and get her drunk and possibly, let's face it, you know, try and shag her. I mean, seriously, it's a very, very bad choice.
Christine
We know, I just thought you had hidden depths.
Will
No. No. You've always had that wrong. I really am this shallow.
Unspoken Affections Revealed by a Friend
Marcus
He fancies you. He told me.
[to Rachel, about Will]
Islands in the Age of Isolation
Will
In my opinion, all men are islands. And what's more, now's the time to be one. This is an island age.
Conflicting Emotions and Unexpected Compliments
Fiona
You're a selfish bastard.
[to Will]
Fiona
When you sing, it brings sunshine and happiness into my heart.
[to Marcus]
Lindsey's Mum
Sheikh Yur Az ... is he Moroccan?
[''Shake your ass'']
Lindsey's Mum
Are we having duck? Delicious!
Ellie
What did you just say to me? You heard me, squitty little shitty snot-nosed bastard!
[to Marcus]
Confronting Fear Through Vulnerable Expression
Will
So there I was, killing them softly with my song. Or rather, being killed. And not that softly, either. I was singing with my eyes closed. Was I frightened? I was petrified.
The Benefits of Emotional Detachment
Will
Me, I didn't mean anything. About anything, to anyone. I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life.
Discussion of Music Preferences
Will
It's a CD, Marcus, by ]. They're cool. You'll like them.
[[w:Mystikal|Mystikal]
Fiona
What kind of music is Mystikal?
Will
It's sort of, um, world music . . .
Marcus
].
[reads a song title; [w:Shake Ya Ass|Shake Ya Ass]
Will
...Slash rap-type thing.
Inadequate Godfather Reflection
Will
I couldn't possibly think of a worse godfather for Imogene. You know me, I'll drop her at her christening. I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th, when I'll take her out and get her drunk and possibly, let's face it, you know, try and shag her.
[After being asked to be Imogene's godfather]
Frustration with Masculinity and Relationships
Will
I'll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my own penis off with a kitchen knife.
[Regarding the first SPAT meeting]
Struggles of a Reluctant Good Guy
Will
She couldn't stay at my place, and she didn't have a DVD, or satellite or cable. So we were always stuck watching some crap made-for-TV movie about a kid with leukemia. I was going to have to end it. But having been Will the Good Guy I didn't relish going back to my role of Will the Unreliable, Emotionally-stunted Arsehole.
[voiceover]
The Consequences of Opening Your Door
Will
Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Time Management in Small Increments
Will
I find the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully dishevelled: four units. It's amazing how the day fills up, and I often wonder, to be absolutely honest, if I'd ever have time for a job; how do people cram them in?
Frustration Over Early Holiday Music
Will
Shit! It can't be. November-the-sodding-19. Six weeks before Christmas and already they were playing the bloody thing.
[In the supermarket, his father's song begins to play]
Desire for Connection and Exclusivity
Marcus
I wanna be with her more, I wanna be with her all the time, and I wanna tell her things I don't even tell you or mum. And I don't want her to have another boyfriend. I suppose if I could have all those things, I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.
The Value of Time in Everyday Life
Will
My life is made up of units of time. Buying CDs – two units. Eating lunch – three units. Exercising – two units. All in all, I had a very full life. It's just that it didn't mean anything.
A Frustrated Outburst of Disappointment
Marcus
You're right. You can't help me. How could you? You're a stupid person who watches TV all day and buys things. You don't give a shit about anybody, and nobody gives a shit about you!
Awkward Family Dynamics and Misunderstandings
Marcus
If Mum was going to get Will to marry her, she'd have to quit making jokes. At least she looked good. I had her put on that nice hairy jumper and the earrings she got from her friend that went to Zimbabwe.
[voiceover]
Will
The kid seemed to think this was a date. As for his mum, she was clearly insane and appeared to be wearing some kind of Yeti costume.
[voiceover]
Contrasting Emotions in a Unique Experience
Will
It was horrible. Horrible. But driving fast behind the ambulance was fantastic.
Expressions of Missing Someone
Suzie
You miss him, don't you?
Will
Who? Oh, Ned! Yeah. Yeah, very much.
Negotiating Terms in a Friendship
Marcus
I'll come if you take my mom, too. She hasn't got any money, so either we'll have to go somewhere cheap, or you'll have to treat us.
Will
Well, listen, don't beat about the bush, Marcus.
Marcus
Why should I? We're poor, you're rich, you pay. You can bring your little boy if you like. I don't mind.
Will
That's really big of you.
Will's Reluctance for Christmas Gathering
Will
No, Marcus, I do not want to come over for Christmas. I do not want to spend Christmas with Ms. Granola Suicide and her spawn.
Isolation and Connection in Human Relationships
Will
Every man is an island. And I stand by that. But clearly, some men are part of island chains. Below the surface of the ocean they're actually connected.
[Thinking]
The Importance of Having Backup
Marcus
Suddenly I realized – two people isn't enough. You need backup. If there are only two people, and someone drops off the edge, then you're on your own. Two isn't a large enough number. You need three at least.