31 quotes
Going to Hollywood with a giant robot
Bratt
We're going to Hollywood! Now, that’s what I call acting. Let's go, Clive! We've got a giant robot waiting!
[takes the Lucy's head disguise off him; laughs while the girls gasp; chuckles; Clive laughs]
Gru
Huh? Lucy? But...
[opens the closet door and gasps; finds the real Lucy bound and gagged in the closet then removes the gag from her mouth]
Lucy
Bratt! He took the girls!
[gasps for air]
Gru
What?! No!
Gru
Dru! Dru!
Dru
Go away! I don't wanna talk to you.
[turns away from him]
Gru
(No, listen.) Bratt has the girls!
Gru
Listen, brother, about what I just said...
Dru
No, I'm the one.
Gru
I shouldn't have... I'm sorry.
[sighs]
Dru
Oh, I'm so sorry, Gru.
Lucy
Aw... Ooh, look out!
Gru
What is that?
[sees a flying machine]
Bratt's Challenge to Gru
Bratt
This is not over, Gru! You hear me? This is not over!
Dru's Enthusiasm for a New Character
Dru
Oh, I love this guy! Look at him! But hair would make you better. Look at his face! Oh, he is so mad!
["hugging" Gru while jumping up and down; lightly punches Gru all over as Gru tries to stop him; does an impression of Gru is face]
Navigating the Challenges of Motherhood
Margo
Um...
Lucy
What?
Margo
It's OK to tell them "No" sometimes, too, you know? Moms need to be tough.
Lucy
Right. Tough. I can totally do that! Still figuring out this mom thing. Getting my sea legs, matey.
[imitates a pirate captain]
A Mother's Angry Protest Against Engagement
Lucy
Ugh, here we go. Niko...
[gasps as she finds Niko standing behind his mother, a woman, holding Niko's brother, a baby]
Niko's mother
You! You refuse my son's engagement pig?!
Lucy
What?
Niko's mother
May you and your daughter die a slow death and be buried with onions!
[spits at Margo, and the baby does the same, much to her shock as she hides behind Lucy]
Lucy
Alright, lady, that's it! Nobody, nobody curses my daughter! You got that? Because if you mess with Margo, you mess with me! And I promise you do not want to mess with me! Do you understand me?!
[Margo is surprised by how Lucy is defending her]
Niko's mother
Yes, yes.
Lucy
Good. Now, get out! Look, Margo, I think we just need to--
[calmly; angrily; Niko's mother takes her son's hand, and they hurry off. Lucy then turns to Margo, thinking she's still upset with her; Margo hugs her tightly. Lucy is startled at first, but hugs her, too]
Bratt's Grand Return to Hollywood
Bratt
Hello, Hollywood! I'm back and bigger than ever.
[laughing; on speaker]
Unexpected Pig Encounter in Despicable Me 3
Gru
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, THIS PIG HAS ISSUES!!!!!
[wailing]
Fritz
Please, come on in.
Gru
Whoa-a, AAAAAAAAH!!
[screaming]
Lucy
Oh, this is so amazing. It's like the Sistine Chappell! But with pigs.
Dru
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, heh-heh-heh-heh, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! MY BROTHEEEEEEER!!!!!!
Both
My brother!
Dru
Gru!
Gru
Dru!
Dru
(he laughing and he takes off his hat and shown his blonde hair that Gru is uncomfortable) Eh… You must be the beautiful wife!
[notices Lucy and dances with her]
Lucy
Beautiful? Oh! Stop it! Sweet talker.
[Dru twirls her around and catches her; laughs; tugs Dru's scarf]
Dru
How is my brother finding a wife like you when he is so bald? I'm joking!
[wraps his arm around Gru, with the other still holding Lucy; rubs Gru's head]
Dru's Casual Assurance of Well-Being
Dru
Hehe, I’m okay.
['''Gru''': Ugh, I miss the minions.]
Gem Expert Exposes Museum's Deception
Museum Director
Monsieur Pompeux! So, what do we owe the presence of the world's foremost gem expert?
[kisses Pompeux's cheeks]
Pompeux
The chief of police sent me. He was censored that during the recent heist attempt, the Dumont Diamond was replaced with a phony. Ooh-la-la! You have been duped!
[The museum director and his friends gasp. Pompeux enters a room where the Dumont Diamond sits on a pedestal surrounded by lasers. Pompeux snaps his fingers causing the lasers to turn off, examines the diamond with a jeweler's loop, sniffs it with his nose, then licks it with his tongue]
Museum Director
What? We have?
Pompeux
Yes. BY ME!
[in Bratt's voice]
Museum Director
What? What is…? Oh, no! Help!
[A rubber mask of Pompeux's head gets tossed into the museum director's face. He removes it, then gasps; As he runs, a sixth dart strikes his butt, and he collapses on the floor. The costume of Pomepeux's body starts to shake as Bratt gets out of it.]
Bratt
I've been a bad boy! Or should I say…
[speaks French, then laughs as he escapes]
Embracing Villainy as an Inherited Trait
Dru
Face it, Gru. Villainy is in your blood!
Bratt's Dramatic Revelation of Acting Skills
Bratt
Gru, did you actually think I was unconscious?
Gru
What?
Bratt
It's called acting, hoser. And clearly, I've still got it!
Gru
OH! OW! AAH! OOH-AAAH! WHOA! WAAAAH, WHOAAAAA! Oh-ha-ha-ha-ho-ho! WAAAAA, WHOA, Oh! Ow! Aah!
[''screaming'']
Gru
AH-HO, HO-HO-HO, HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[''wailing'']
Brat
I'VE BEEN A BA-A-AD BOY! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Alpha Team Leader
Freeze! Don't move!
Bratt
Son of a Beta-max!
Gru's Warning to Bratt About the 80s
Gru
Get ready, Bratt! You are about to be blasted back to the 80s!
A Memorable TV Show from 1985
TV Show Host
The year was 1985, and the #1 hit show on TV was…
Young Balthazar Bratt
Evil Bratt!
TV Show Host
The show starred young Balthazar Bratt as a child, prodigy and criminal mastermind bent on world domination!
Military Officer
There he is! Get him!
Young Bratt
I've been a bad boy!
TV Show Host
Bratt was the biggest child actor of the 1980s, striking a chord with audiences all over the world.
Military Officer
There he is! Get him!
TV Show Host
But it all came to an end in Season 3, when…
[as Bratt kicks the military officials]
Teenage Balthazar Bratt
(imitating Peter Brady from ]) I've been a bad boy!
[[The Brady Bunch]
TV Show Host
The young star experienced an unexpected growth spurt.
Teenage Bratt
Boy? Boy?! AGGGGHHH!
TV Show Host
The show was canceled. ] rejected him, and Bratt quickly plunged into a downward spiral, starting to actually believe he was the character he played on TV.
[[w:Hollywood, Los Angeles|Hollywood]
Teen Bratt
What are you looking at?!
TV Show Host
Leading us all to wonder… where is he now?
Bratt
You know what, Clive? Playing a villain on TV was fun, but being one in real life is even better! Heist music!
Clive
Here it comes!
Bratt
D'oh! What?! Clive, what are you doing?! How is that heist music?!
Clive
Sorry! My bad.
A Day of Doing Nothing
Lucy
So... what did you guys do today?
Gru and Dru
Nothing!
[lying]
A Dream of a Fluffy Unicorn
Scar-Faced Man
I'm telling you I saw one once. With my own eye!
[On 'eye', he bends down toward Agnes' face]
Agnes
Wait, wait, wait. You saw a for-real live unicorn?! What did it look like? What do you think? Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it FLUFYYYYYY?!
[waving her arms to halt the man; gasps; shocks and rages]
Scar-Faced Man
It was so fluffy; I thought I was gonna die!
Unexpected Engagement Announcement with a Pig
Lucy
Hello? Oh, hi.
[sees Niko]
Niko
Hello, mother of Margo. I am Niko. I present you with pig to confirm my engagement to your daughter.
Lucy
Hey, what now?
[laughs]
Margo
What's going on? Go on.
Lucy
Uh, remember Little Boots?
Niko
Hello, my schmoopsie-poo.
[tries to kiss Margo]
Margo
Whoa! Hey!
Lucy
He seems to think you're engaged.
[laughs]
Margo
What? We're not engaged.
[as Niko kisses her hand]
A Sacrifice for Family Support
Gru
Agnes, what are you doing? You sold your unicorn?
[runs over to Agnes after she sells the fluffy unicorn]
Agnes
Well, I just wanted to help since you don't have a job. I got 2 whole dollars for it!
Dave and Jerry
Aww...
Unexpected Encounter on the Ship
A.V.L. Tech
Sir, the ship has been boarded by some kinda of... monster!
Silas Ramsbottom
Wait, that’s not a monster. That's a man wearing shoulder pads! There's only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated, Balthazar Bratt. Blast it, the Dumont Diamond is on that ship! I want every agent in the area on the scene immediately!
[zooms in on the boat, revealing Bratt]
Lucy
We're already here! Agents Grucy are closing fast!
Gru
Yeah! Wait. What? What did you call us?
Lucy
Grucy! You know, Gru and Lucy mushed together. Try it.
Gru
Oh, I like it, but not a lot. I don't like it.
A Conversation on Villainy and Comedy
Bratt
Hello, Gru! How's your transition coming? You know, from world's worst villain to world's worst (heroic) agent?
Gru
Oh, that's hilarious, you should be on TV.
Gru
Oh, that's right. You were! But then you got cancelled!
[pulls out his freeze ray]
Gru
What about that? What? Ugh! Girls!
[smacks the gun away; pulls out... a small water pistol; throws the water pistol at Bratt's face]
Family Secrets and Divided Loyalties
Gru
Wait, what, it's true?! You never told me I had a brother, and you told me that Dad died of disappointment when I was born!
Marlena
Yeah. That was the agreement.
Gru
Agreement"? What are you talking about?!
Marlena
Shortly after you and your brother were born, your father and I divorced. We each took one son to raise on our own and promised never to see each other again. Obviously, I got second pick.
[sighs]
Gru
I have a brother.
Leadership Transition Announcement and Reactions
Silas
Thank you for coming in such short notice. It is with great sadness that I must inform that as of today, I am retiring as head of the AVL.
Lucy
Oh, no!
Silas
Your new leader is coming directly from head office, effective immediately. She is the very gifted. The very ambitious, Miss Valerie da Vinci. As I look out over all your faces, I am fluttered with so many memories.
[under his breath]
Valerie da Vinci
Oh, boy, this is a snooze fest! Blah, blah, blah, we understand, you're old, look, you're fat, you're done.
Silas
Ooh! Let me breathe in!
[grunts; gets shoved into the ejection hole]
Valerie
Whew, broke a little sweat there. First order of business. WHICH ONE OF YOU LOSERS IS AGENT GRU?!
[chuckles; clears her throat]
Gru Addresses Minions About Villainy Concerns
Gru
Guys! Shh, shh, shh, shh! I don't think you heard me right! No, no, no, no, no, no! This does not mean that we're going back to being villains!
Minions
Awww...
[disappointed]
Stuart
Ah? Pinyoof la komiko!
Gru
Okay, alright, I get it. Look, I know it's been a little tough lately, especially with Dr. Nefario accidentally ].
[[The Empire Strikes Back|freezing himself in carbonite]
Gru
But our life of crime is over! Ugh. Mel! Mel, you're with me on this, right?
Mel
Ugh! Looka!
Mel
MINIONS, NO LE PINYOOF! Pinyoof, pinyoof, pinyoof!
[the Minions all rouse up]
Gru
Guys, listen to me! Read my lips! Leso me lipo! Pomo doro la comquit!
Gru
What? What did I say? It's not "comquit"? Ah, okay. Pomo doro la kumquat!
[pulls out a Minions language book]
Mel
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pulisso kumquit parado. Lury para yo.
Gru
Don't take that tone with me! We're not going back to villainy!
Mel
Uh? No pirany?
Gru
Yes! And I don't want to hear another word about it! Look! If you guys don't stop right now, there will be consequences!
[the Minions all blow raspberries at Gru]
Mel
Eh? Poro es me moro!
Gru
Hey, don't say anything you're going to regret!
Mel
Ooh, no re paros! El es quita! Choperu!
[he and the other Minions leave]
Gru
What, you quit? You're serious? Come on! Dave! Jerry! Good news, guys! You've just been promoted! You're in charge now! Huh? Not bad!
[Bob angrily stomps on Mel's Gru hat and leaves with all the Minions... except for Dave and Jerry, who just walked into the room, unaware of what just happened]
Dave and Jerry
ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA!
[whoop excitingly as they tear off their Hawaiian costumes and begin rubbing their butts together]
Gru
Oh... GEESH!
Career Success and Sibling Support
Dru
So, brother, how are things going for you career-wise?
Gru
Great. So, so great. Crushing it.
[laughs nervously]
Urgent Response to Intruders in Despicable Me 3
Officer
What are you doing? Intruders! Intruders!
[while watching the minions run by]
Officer 1
There they are!
Officer 2
Stop!
Officer 1
Hey, you! Don’t move! Halt!
Officer 1
Call for backup!
[while Officer 2 is panting]
Bratt's Revenge Against Gru and Hollywood
Bratt
Well, now that I have got the diamond, it's payback time. Oh, it is too bad Gru will not be around to try and stop me. Oh, wait! No, it is not! I hate that tweeb! And you, Hollywood! This time, I am canceling you! And all the losers who rejected me!
[laughs evilly]