30 quotes
Dracula's Practical Dilemma with Chandelier
Count Dracula
I must move the coffin. Or the chandelier.
[after rising from his coffin and hitting his head on a chandelier; pause]
A Character's Frustration Expressed Clearly
Thomas Renfield
No, this is wrong. This is wrong! This is wrong, you hear me? Wrong! This is ... Wrong me! Wrong me! Wrong my brains out!
[as the vampire women are seducing Renfield]
Dracula's Frustration with Renfield
Count Dracula
Renfield, you asshole!
[his last line]
Dreams of Desire and Parisian Fantasies
Dracula
Renfield, you were having a nightmare.
Renfield
A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women, heaving and grinding. How to describe it? Have you ever been to Paris?
[pause]
A Difficult Decision in a Dire Situation
Jonathan Harker
Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?
[having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy]
Van Helsing
Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.
Jonathan Harker
...Give me the stake. No. No, I can't... you do it.
Van Helsing
It must be done by one who loved her in life.
Jonathan Harker
I only liked her!
Van Helsing
Close enough!
Van Helsing
One, two—WAIT! NOW!
[Van Helsing slinks back behind a pillar]
Jonathan Harker
Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood!
Van Helsing
She just ate!
Jonathan Harker
Ah! She-she's still moving!
Van Helsing
Hit her again!
Jonathan Harker
Oh no... I can't...
Van Helsing
How much blood can she have left?
Van Helsing
She's almost dead!
Jonathan Harker
She's dead enough. Oh! This is - this is ghastly!
Van Helsing
Yes, you're right. We should have put newspapers down!
Desperation Amidst Chaos and Authority
Man
Renfield, I can't take it. Can you take it? The lights, the crazy faces staring at me. I'm telling you the walls are closing in on me! I've got to get out of here!
[increasingly crazily]
Martin
Guard! Get back to work!
Discussion on the Existence of Vampires
Van Helsing
What we are dealing with here is... a VAMPIRE!
Dr. Seward
Vampire?
Jonathan Harker
Vampire? What are you saying?
Van Helsing
I'm saying, vampire!
Dr. Seward
But professor, modern sciences don't admit to such a fanciful creature!
Van Helsing
Modern sciences pish posh! She has lost a great deal of blood, ja?
Jonathan Harker
Ja...
Van Helsing
Well look! where did all the blood go? Look at the sheets, the pillowcase, her nightgown! Do you see anything? How does your modern science explain zhat? Can you explain zhat? Can you explain zhat?
[walks to Lucy's bedside]
Dr. Seward
I can't explain zhat.
Jonathan Harker
I can't explain zhat.
Van Helsing
NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN ZHAT!
A Discussion on Health and Emotion
Dr. Seward
Would an enema help?
Jonathan Harker
She's doing quite well without him, isn't she?
[watching Mina's reflection in a mirror as she's dancing with Dracula, where it looks like she's dancing alone]
Nurse
Well done, doctor! Ten out of ten!
[Upon seeing the unconscious medical students on the floor]
Jonathan Harker
Oh yes, my dear. The Opera is astonishing. The music is fraught with love, hate, sensuality, and unbridled passion... all the things in my life that I've managed to suppress.
Dracula's Night-Time Reflection on Daymares
Count Dracula
Oh, it's night-time. I was having... a daymare.
[waking up from a bad dream]
Count Dracula Enjoys Wine and Chicken
Count Dracula
I'm drinking wine, and I'm eating chicken!
[in a dream, at a picnic]
A Disputed Table Incident
Dr. Seward
I was just telling Ma—what was that?
Renfield
Huh?
Dr. Seward
You just grabbed something from the table.
Renfield
I did not.
Dr. Seward
Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.
Renfield
Oh, that was a raspberry.
[thinks of an alibi]
Dr. Seward
Raspberry? We're not serving raspberries.
Renfield
Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There's one missing.
Dr. Seward
How silly of me! It must have been my imagin—there, you did it again!
Renfield
Huh?
Dr. Seward
You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!
Renfield
I did not.
Dr. Seward
Yes, you did.
Renfield
I did not.
Dr. Seward
Yes, you did.
Renfield
I did not.
Dr. Seward
I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right out of the air and eat it!
[shouts]
Renfield
A spider?
Renfield
How absurd!
Renfield
Oh! Dropped my fork!
[gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect]
Dr. Seward
Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there? This is most unseemly!
Renfield
Fork found! Sorry for the delay.
[Comes back up]
Dr. Seward
My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground!
Renfield
...What makes you say that?
Dr. Seward
I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!
Renfield
Out of my mouth?
Dr. Seward
Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wriggling about!
Renfield
Don't be ridiculous! Wriggling!
Dr. Seward
I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wriggling all over the place! The poor thing, it's fighting for its life!
Renfield
I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave!
Dr. Seward
Me, ranting? You're the ranter!
Renfield
Hello, little darling!
[to the fly]
Renfield
Don't be afraid!
Renfield
I won't hurt you! All I want is your life!
Dr. Seward
That's it! Put him in a straight jacket and give him an enema! Wait! Wait, wait... Give him the enema FIRST. THEN put him in a straitjacket.
Dracula's Frustration with Renfield
Count Dracula
Renfield, you idiot.
[embarrassed after hearing Renfield and Lucy screaming from outside]
The Importance of Accomplishments in Care
Dr. Seward
Give him an enema.
Attendant
An enema, sir?.
Dr. Seward
Yes, it'll give him a feeling of accomplishment.
The Importance of Position in Staking
Dr. Van Helsing
I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.
Concern for the Furniture's Well-Being
Thomas Renfield
My God! What are you doing to the furniture?
[upon seeing two voluptuous brides of Dracula - one rubbing a table seductively, the other rubbing the bedpost seductively]
Dracula's Hypnotic Commands to Mina and Essie
Dracula
Essie... Essie... Your eyelids are growing heavy. You will sleep... sleep.
[to the maid]
Dracula
Mina... Mina, open your eyes!
Dracula
Arise, Mina.
Dracula
Walk to the door.
Dracula
Mina... you are in the closet. Open the door, and come out.
Dracula
Now walk to the terrace door. Watch out for the foot...
Dracula
...Stool. Stand up.
Dracula
Not you. Sit!
Dracula
No, not you, you sit.
Dracula
You stand.
Dracula
No! Sit!
Dracula
No, you stand!
Dracula
You walk to the terrace door, and you go back to sleep! Watch out!
Dracula
Wait there I am coming, Turn off the lights so no one will see me coming
Dracula
You will be my bride throughout eternity. We'll share the endless passion of immortal love.
[carrying Essie out instead of Mina]
Essie
Oh I can't wait!
Dracula
NOT YOU!
[stares at her in surprise]
Dracula
You will be my bride throughout eternity, we'll share the endless passion of immortal love!
[takes her back inside and throws her on the floor, and carries Mina out, speaking and walking very fast]
Dracula's View on Children of the Night
Count Dracula
Children of the night... what a mess they make!
[a bat poops on the stairs]
Dracula Threatens Mortal in His Domain
Dracula
Arrogant mortal! You are in my world now, and you will never leave this attic alive! I will destroy you, and then I will possess she whom you love the most. And there is not a single thing in the world you can do to stop me!
Dracula
Ow!
Revelation of the Undead in Dracula
Jonathan Harker
Oh, God... she's dead now.
[Entering Lucy's crypt and seeing her body]
Van Helsing
No, she's not!
Jonathan Harker
She's alive?
Van Helsing
She's Nosferatu!
Jonathan Harker
She's Italian?
Embracing Independence and Personal Freedom
Dr. Seward
Your master is gone forever Mr. Renfield. You are your own man now.
Renfield
I am...?
Dr. Seward
Yes. No one can ever control you again.
Renfield
You're right!
[straightening up, smiling]
Dr. Seward
Good. Come, Renfield!
Renfield
Yes, master...!
[hunching down again, walking after Dr. Seward]
Dracula's Reluctant Acceptance of Wine
Lady at Picnic
Surely sir
Man at Picnic
Some wine sir?
Dracula
I never drink... wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.
Desires Clash in Life and Death
Lucy Westenra
I know you've always wanted me, and I've always wanted you. Finally we can be together.
Jonathan Harker
But Lucy, I'm engaged to Mina... and you're dead.
Lucy Westenra
I'm not dead. I'm undead.
Jonathan Harker
Yes, well, I'm not unengaged.
Lucy Westenra
Jonathan, let me kiss you...let me show you the deep, raw, passion of unbridled sexual frenzy...
Jonathan Harker
But, Lucy! I'm British!
Lucy Westenra
So are these!
Jonathan Harker
Lucy!
Introduction of Professor Van Helsing
Dr. Seward
Allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as a man of theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing
And gynecology.
Dr. Seward
Oh, I didn't know you have your hand in that, too.
The Legacy of Vlad Tepeş Explained
Dracula
Van Helsing... a name that is famous even in Translyvania.
Van Helsing
Count Dracula... are you by any chance descended from Vlad Tepeş, the first Dracula?
Dr. Seward
Tepeş?
Van Helsing
Yah, it means "the Impaler". He used to inflict unspeakable tortures on the peasants; cutting off their hands and feet, gouging out their eyes, and then impaling them on iron spikes.
Dracula
They had it coming!
Consequences of Behavior in Captivity
Martin
You'll stay here til you rot!
[throwing Renfield back into his cell]
Martin
Well, you're free to go!
Renfield
Free to go? Why? How?
Martin
Good behavior.
Renfield
But I've only been in here for a moment.
Martin
Well, for that moment, your behavior was very good.
Renfield
uh...
Martin
Let's go.
[hurling Renfield out of his cell]
Conflicting Perceptions of Reality
Thomas Renfield
I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything I saw everything!
[guard locks door; cackles]
Miscommunication Between Dracula and His Valet
Dracula
You will tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby... and you will remember nothing of what I tell you.
Valet
Hello, can I help you sir?
[noticing Dracula standing there]
Dracula
Can I help you sir? What is the matter with you, why did you not tell him?
[mimicking her; normally]
Valet
About what?
Dracula
About the message!
Valet
For whom?
Dracula
Never mind! I will tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will receive no tip!
Valet
No tip?
Dracula
Ah! That, you remember!
Renfield's Reluctance to Medical Procedures
Thomas Renfield
No! No! Not another enema!
[upon hearing Dr. Seward's instruction to the guard'': "Take him back to his cell and give him a you-know-what!"]
Anticipation of Meeting Count Dracula
Renfield
Yes, I'm schh-eduled to meet Count Dracula.
Villager #1
Dracula!
[horrified]
Villager #2
Dracula!
[horrified]
Villager #3
Dracula!
[horrified]
Villager #4
...Schh-eduled?