Ocean's Thirteen poster

Ocean's Thirteen Quotes

"Revenge is a funny thing."

PG-13 2007 · 2h 2m · Thriller, Crime
67
Audience
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32 quotes
A Playful Reference to Chuck Berry
Basher Mr. Bank. Do you know what Chuck Berry said every night before counting one, two, three, four?
[pretending to be a stunt biker]
Bank What did he say?
Basher Pay me my money!
[lifting a finger up for each word]
Misunderstood Intentions in Conversations
Rusty Well, she said she liked surprises...
Danny I don't think that is what she meant.
Rusty You think?
Danny So she dropped the remote...
Rusty And I put the towel back on.
Danny Well, those are the waters.
Communication Breakdown Between Friends
Danny What did you say?
Rusty What could I say?
Danny Nothing.
Rusty That's what I said.
Desire for results without effort
Willie Bank I don't want the labor pains; I just want the baby!
Perceptions of Seriousness in Others
Willie Bank Some people I take seriously tell me you're a serious guy.
[To Danny Ocean]
Questioning the Nature of Humor
Benedict You think this is funny?
The Importance of the Nose in Strategy
Rusty Ryan Oh I told him that the nose plays... the nose plays.
[Referring to Linus' facial prop]
Nostalgic Reflections on Past Casinos
Danny I remember when this used to be The Dunes. Reuben taught me to shoot craps here when I was a kid. I'd play Hard Ways and Double Sixes; he straightened me out. I was twenty...two.
[Stands with Rusty in front of the Bellagio]
Rusty The first time I ever met Reuben, he looked me off getting cheated at an all-dealers game at the El Rancho, then he bought me breakfast. The Sands was there, Desert Inn...
[Looks off to the side]
Danny They built em smaller back then.
Rusty They seemed big.
Danny ...Town's changed.
A Casual Farewell from Linus Caldwell
Linus Caldwell I guess I'll see you when I see you
[At the airport, homage to real life]
The Importance of Meaningful Props
Linus Caldwell It is not a prop for prop's sake!
[reference to Damon's last line in Rounders]
Advice on Family Life
Danny Ocean You should settle down. Have a couple of kids.
[to Rusty before leaving]
The Importance of Maintaining Ideas
Danny That's your idea?
Linus Well, we've shaken all the trees, we've looked under every rock, we've searched every... I mean... We've talked to everybody we can trust. I know it's not a great idea, but it is an idea... and I think as long as we have one idea, we shouldn't give up.
Rusty I was really hoping to avoid that this time.
Confidence in Winning and Consequences of Losing
Willie Bank Oh, I don't lose. People who bet on me to lose, lose. And they lose big.
Weight and Employment: A Difficult Decision
Abigail Sponder I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. Turn in your uniform.
[Feeling a waitress' arm]
Waitress I only gained four pounds, you can't!
Sponder Sorry, sweetie, but your Body Mass Index is nowhere near where it's supposed to be.
Waitress But Ms. Sponder-
Sponder Oh no, honey. It's your butt that's the problem.
[Smugly walks off, Linus having observed the whole thing]
Frank Man, you can't fire no waitresses based on appearance, that's just unconstitutional.
Danny IF they were waitresses.
Linus Yeah, they're actually hired as "models who serve", so that Bank can monitor their personal appearance.
Rusty It's a cruel, cruel practice.
Trust and Suspicion Among Friends
Linus Have you guys been talking to my dad?
Danny Why would we do that?
Linus That's not a "no.
Danny Look...
Rusty He just wanted to know how the nose was working for you.
Linus Oh, I knew it, man! He just can't leave it alone! What did you tell him?
Rusty Oh, I told him the nose plays.
Linus The nose does play.
Rusty The nose plays.
Danny It's great, it's huge.
A Partner's Desk No Longer Exists
Reuben So... where's the partner's desk gonna be?
Bank Oh, there is no partner's desk, Reuben. You're out.
Reuben What? Are you gonna throw me off the roof?
Bank Well, I don't want to.
A Misunderstanding About Pancake Eating
Rusty So then she says, "What did I do?" and I say, "What do I look like, a pancake eater?
Danny Hmm. So you left it there on the floor?
Rusty Right on the floor.
Danny For how long?
Rusty Next morning.
Danny Good.
[nods]
Power Dynamics in a Changing Landscape
Bank This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine.
Danny Well, I know all the guys that you'd hire to come after me, and they like me better than you.
Plans and Reflections Among Friends
Saul Bloom When they opened The Flamingo, one day it was closed, the next it was open. End of story. I know, I was there.
Saul Bloom Kensington Chubb here!
Saul Bloom Did I say I was walking away? Let's gut the sonovabitch.
Reuben Tishkoff We'll talk about it when I'm dead.
Roman Nagel You're analog players in a digital world. You're done.
Yen Shit! Shit! Shit!
Saul Bloom (Talking to Willie Bank as Kensington chubb) Well, so far, this establishment is of, Aces!
Not Involved in the Conflict
Danny Hey, Linus.
Linus Hey, where are Tess and Isabel?
Danny It's not their fight!
[impatient]
Linus Hey, whoa!
[defensively]
Debating Myths About Inuit Traditions
Reuben Did you know the Inuit people send their elders out on an ice floe to die when they're too old to hunt?
Danny Reuben, that's just a myth.
Understanding the Stakes in a Conflict
Rusty What's the latest?
[Meeting Danny on a plane to Vegas]
Danny Nothing. They say the first 24 hours are...
Rusty Right... Did she understand?
Danny It's not their fight.
Rusty Did she understand?
Danny ...It's not their fight.
Advice on Weight Management
Rusty Ryan Next time, try keeping the weight off in between.
[to Danny before he leaves]
Identity Confusion in Ocean's Thirteen
Linus Caldwell I'm so deep into Pepperidge I am him.
Unexpected Moments During a Casual Conversation
Rusty Are you alright?
[notices Danny teary-eyed]
Danny Yeah, um, I just bit into a pepper.
Rusty Is that... are you... are you watching Oprah? With a bottle of wine? Did you TiVo this?
[sees the television is on Oprah, where she gives a family a new house]
Danny I was reading the paper.
Rusty With the sound at full volume?
[unconvinced]
Danny It's...not just the kids. I mean, I'm happy for the kids. How's it going in Mexico?
[Rusty nods]
Rusty Well, Turk's there. Are they really going to build her a new home?
[pause]
Danny Yeah, for the whole family.
Complexity in Simplicity
Rusty Ryan Could you make it any more complicated?
Willie Bank's Remark on Ocean's Intelligence
Willie Bank You know, you're half smart, Ocean.
Trust and Loyalty in Uncertain Situations
Danny Ocean First of all, I know the guys you'd hire to come get me, they like me better than you. Second of all, you're not going to the cops, because...well, let's face it, you're not going to the cops. Third, you shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better, Willy.
Trust and Persuasion Among Friends
Saul Reuben...he always was too trusting.
Danny Is, Saul. Is.
Saul Right, is.
Rusty Well, you try talking him out of it next time.
[Yen says something in Mandarin]
Danny Look, Bank hurt Reuben. I know how that makes me feel. I know what that makes me want to do.
Turk Well, I'll you what I'd do, and I don't care if it gets messy.
Virgil I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
Livingston And I'll inject him.
Basher And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
Rusty All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
Danny But...Even though Bank stepped over the line, we need to do what is best for Reuben.
Rusty Which means we offer Bank a "Billy Martin.
Turk And, what? He takes it and gets away with it?
Linus Those are the rules.
Basher No, those are the rules for someone who understands the rules, which Bank don't. He already broke them. So he don't get the chance.
Frank For Reuben...I think we give him a chance.
Conflict Between Father and Son
Linus Caldwell No, the Brody can work! What, just because you have the greatest cover known to man, you have to tell me what to do? Congratulations! No, maybe you're getting soft! No, I won't put Danny on. Or Rusty. Just–Goodbye, Dad!
[Linus is talking to his dad on the phone; Danny puts his hand out for the phone; Rusty puts his hand out for the phone; Hangs up]
Debate on Disabling a Device
Danny Couldn't we just shut it off, you know, cut the wires?
Roman That could work. Even better, you could just kick the plug right out of the socket!
Danny I'm serious-
Roman No, short of walking in with a bloody magnetron around your neck- You do know what a magnetron is?
Danny Something that screws up the Grecco?
[pause]
Roman Short of that...I... I can't believe I am even talking about this, because...this is a problem!
[laughs]
Danny That's what I said.
Rusty But if we could-
Roman No, there is no if'! It can not be shut off! I mean, you need a real natural disaster, an act of God!
Rusty But if we could beat it-
Roman You can't.
Rusty But if we could-
Roman You can't.
Rusty You could.
Roman Don't flatter.
[gives them a look]
Danny Look, IF we could shut it off, how long would it take to reboot?
Roman Because it's so sophisticated, 3 and a half minutes.
Danny Might be enough.
Rusty Pick your natural disaster.
The Complexity of Relationships
Rusty Relationships can be...
Danny Sure.
Rusty But they're also...
Danny That's right.