11 quotes
Misunderstandings About Family Backgrounds
Mr. Gilbertson
Have you told your parents?
Margaret
Impossible. My parents are dead.
Mr. Gilbertson
Are your parents dead too?
Margaret
No, no. His parents are very much alive.
Mr. Gilbertson
Have you told them yet?
Margaret
We’re going to their place this weekend. …Gammie’s 90th birthday. We thought it’d be a nice surprise.
[Andrew stares, disbelieving, at her]
Mr. Gilbertson
Uh-huh. And where will that be?
Margaret
At Andrew’s parents’ house.
Mr. Gilbertson
Oh, and where’s that?
Margaret
Pssh. Why am I doing all the talking? They're your parents, why don't you tell him? Jump in...
[looking at Andrew]
Andrew
Sitka.
Margaret
Sitka.
Andrew
Alaska.
Margaret
Alaskaaaa…
[shocked, but trying to cover it]
Family Pressure and Career Choices
Margaret
That your family?
Andrew
Yes.
Margaret
They tell you to quit?
Andrew
Every single day.
A Shirt for Baseball Tickets Negotiation
Andrew
I need the shirt off your back. Literally.
Colleague
You're kidding, right?
Andrew
Yankees, Boston, this Tuesday. 2 company seats for your shirt. You have 5 seconds to decide. 5,4,3,2,1...
Unexpected Revelations About Attire and Body Image
Margaret
Wow. Incredible. Maybe a tad loose in certain areas, but otherwise —
Grandma Annie
Oh, sorry. I’m a bit chesty to begin with, and, I happened to be knocked up when I wore this.
Consequences of Deportation and Work Restrictions
Chairman Bergen
We can clean this up, re-file, but even when we do, you’ll have to spend one year out of the country.
Margaret
Well, that’s not ideal, I mean, I can work from Toronto, with video conferencing —
Chuck
Margaret, you don’t understand. If you’re deported, you can’t work for an American company.
Unspoken Truths in Long Conversations
Margaret
Why didn't you tell me you're some kind of an Alaskan Kennedy?
Andrew
We were in the middle of talking about you... for the last 3 years.
Preparing for Immigration Questions
Andrew
So, these are the questions that INS is gonna ask us. Now the good news is that I know everything about you, but the bad news is that you have 4 days to learn all this about me. So you should .. probably get studying.
Margaret
You know all the answers to these questions about me?
Andrew
Scary, isn't it?
Margaret
Hmm... a little bit. What I am allergic to?
Andrew
: Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.
Andrew
I am pretty sure that you have a tattoo.
Andrew
I'm pretty sure. 2 years ago, your dermatologist called and asked about a Q-switched laser. I of course Googled a Q-switched laser and found that they in fact do to remove tattoos. But you canceled your appointment.So what is it? Tribal ink? Japanese calligraphy? Barbed wire?
Morning Surprise in The Proposal
Margaret
Oh my God, what is that?
Andrew
I’m sorry.
Margaret
What is it?
Andrew
It’s… the morning.
A Lighthearted Exchange About Running
Margaret
Why are you out of breath?
Andrew
Because I’ve been running.
Margaret
From Alaska?
Conference Call and Staff Meeting Reminder
Andrew
Morning, boss. You have a conference call in 30 minutes.
Margaret
Yes. About the marketing of the spring books. I know.
Andrew
Staff meeting at 9:00.
Margaret
Did you call, um ... What's her name? The one with the ugly hands.
Andrew
Janet?
Margaret
Yes, Janet.
Andrew
I did call her and if she doesn't get her manuscript in on time you won't give her a release date. Your immigration lawyer called. He said it's imperative...
Margaret
Cancel the call, push the meeting to tomorrow and keep the lawyer on the sheets. Oh, and get a hold of PR, have them start drafting a press release. Frank is doing Oprah.
Andrew
Wow. Nicely done.
Margaret
If I want your praise, I will ask for it. Um... Who is, uh, who is Jillian? And why does she want me to call her?
Andrew
Well, that was originally my cup.
Margaret
And I'm drinking your coffee why?
Andrew
Because your coffee spilled.