31 quotes
Debate Over a Pit Stop Near Wakita
Rabbit
You know, Jo, some of us couldn't help but notice how close we are to Wakita.
Jo
No.
Sanders
Aunt Meg wouldn't mind a pit stop, right?
Jo
No!
Dusty
Red meat! We crave sustenance!
Dusty
F-food!
Rest of the Team
Food! FOOD!
Jo
Hey! We're absolutely not going!
Lightning Safety Tips in Severe Storms
Rabbit
Y'know, in a severe lightning storm, you want to grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.
Haynes
He's right. If you're gonna get hit it's the safest orifice.
Joey
Yeah, I'd like to get hit by lightning once, y'know, see what it's like.
Marriage and Relationships in Twister
Melissa
She did not marry your penis. Ok, she didn't ONLY marry your penis.
Understanding Tornado Intensity with the Fujita Scale
Preacher
No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F-3?
Bill
Solid F-2.
Melissa
See, now you've lost me again.
Bill
It's the Fujita Scale. It measures the intensity of a tornado by how much it eats.
Melissa
Eats?
Bill
Destroys.
Lawrence
The one we encountered back there was a strong F-2, F-3 maybe.
Beltzer
Maybe we'll see some F-4's today.
Haynes
That would be sweet!
Bill
4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficiently.
Melissa
Is there an F-5? What would that be like?
[silence falls over the group]
Preacher
...The Finger of God.
Melissa
None of you have ever seen an F-5?
Bill
...Just one of us.
Nickname Origins in a Storm Chasing Crew
Melissa
I was just wondering why do you call Billy "The Extreme"?
Dusty
Cause Billy is The Extreme.
Preacher
Bill is most out-of-control sonofabitch in the gang!
Bill
No, I think I came in 2nd.
[Gives Jo a look, who smirks back]
Dusty
Oh, I've seen The Extreme in high gear.
Jo
You guys need to come up with some new stories. I'm gonna go clean up.
[Leaves to take a shower]
Dusty
So we get this one near Daleton right?
Rabbit
Oh, god.
Dusty
And we are way too close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.
Beltzer
And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...
[points to Bill]
Dusty
He is naked!
Rabbit
He is buck naked.
Beltzer
Naked!
Bill
NOT naked! I was not naked!
[laughter]
Beltzer
He was without apparel.
[whispering into Melissa's ear]
Bill
Half naked.
Dusty
Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right? And he just strolls up to the twister, says have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground.
[laughter]
Beltzer
The twister caught it and sucked it right up!
Bill
Honey, this is a tissue full of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.
Dusty
I LOVE THIS GUY!
Observing the Sky's Ominous Signs
Allan
Hey, Jo, Bill, check out that sky!
Jo
You know what? I think we've seen enough.
[Turns to kiss Bill]
Analyzing the Tornado's Path and Movement
Jo
What're you doing? What're you doing?!
Bill
Look at the updraft, the angle. It's gonna shift its track.
Jo
Are you sure?
Bill
Oh yeah, it's definitely a sidewinder...It'll move left.
Melissa
Is that bad?
Bill
Wasn't there a road back there–?
Jo
You're right. Go, go, go, go, go!
[Sees what Bill saw]
Melissa
Hello? Donald, now's not a very good time for me, I'm – okay, put Julia on...
[Her phone rings. She answers]
Jonas
Looking good, looking very good. Alright, now about four miles south, hang a right, let's deploy, and we'll be done.
Eddie
Uh, Dr. Miller?
Jonas
Shit, shit, IT'S MOVING AWAY! God!
[Looks up and sees the tornado's new heading]
Eddie
Looks like they're gonna intercept.
[Sees Bill's team down a different road]
Jonas
Dammit, Tony, I thought you told me this thing was gonna stay on the same heading!
[Looks with his binoculars in surprise at where Bill's team is]
Navigating Uncertainty in Storm Chasing
Bill
I think we're going in! ...Maybe we should get off this road.
[they scream as they drive through the house and out the other side]
Jo
I think you're right.
Excitement Overseeing a Missing Truck
Jo
Where's my truck? There it is.
[Jo's truck falls from the sky in the way of Melissa. Melissa screams hysterically, while at the same time able to swerve around it]
Bill
Melissa?!
Dusty
Did you just miss that truck? That's AWESOME! That's AWESOME!
Forecasting the Storm's Impact
Jo
Beltzer will tell us if drops near us!
Bill
It's not gonna drop near us, its gonna drop right on us!
Unexpected Encounters in a Stormy Situation
Jo
Oh my God, who are these people?!
[after finding a barn full of sharp instruments]
Bill
I don't think so!
A Casual Reunion Under a Changing Sky
Bill
Hiya, Jo.
Jo
Hey, Bill. I'm happy you found us.
Bill
How're you doing?
Jo
It's going good. Did you see the sky today?
[Briefly looks up at the gathering storm clouds and smiles wide]
Bill
Yeah, she's, uh, she's really talking.
Jo
Catch. It's the biggest series of storms in 12 years; one lined up right after another. ] says they've never seen anything like it.
[Tosses some electrical cables to Bill, who only catches them at the last second; [w:National Severe Storms Laboratory|NSSL]
Imminent Road Confusion Among Characters
Jo
Where's the road Rabbit?!
Rabbit
It should be any second!
Preacher
HELLO. Shit.
Misunderstandings About Tornado Chasing Metaphors
Mellisa
When you told me you used to chase tornadoes, deep down I always thought it was a metaphor!
[after being caught in a tornado while chasing it with Bill and Jo; frightened to tears]
Insurance Coverage and a Compliment
Jo
Do you have full coverage on that truck?
[After her truck is destroyed, looking over at Bill's truck]
Bill
Liability only.
Jo
Liability only...Well, it's a very pretty truck.
Melissa
Thank you.
Bill
Don't even think about it. NO WAY.
[Jo looks at him]
Observation of a Recent Explosion
Dusty
Jo, Bill did you see that explosion?
[after Jo and Bill drive through an explosion]
Jo
...We saw it.
Nature's Challenge: Unpredictable and Deadly Research
Taglines
There is a Mystery. Elusive. Unpredictable. Violent. It terrifies most scientists. But for a new breed... ...the challenge is saving lives. The Research is deadly. And the Laboratory is nature itself.
Approaching Danger Requires Immediate Action
Dusty
Jo, Bill, it's coming! It's headed right for us!
[realizes a tornado is coming]
Bill
It's already here! Everybody underground now!
[staring at the nearby tornado with Jo and Mellisa; to everyone nearby]
Map Handling Dispute in Kansas
Rabbit
Look, all I'm saying is don't fold the maps.
Sanders
I didn't fold the maps.
Rabbit
Yeah, well Kansas is a mess, there's a big crease right through Wichita. ROLL THE MAPS.
Urgent Response to Incoming Debris
Jo
Debris! Dusty, we have debris!
Bill
DEBRIS!!
Jo
RIGHT!!
Bill
What now?!
Jo
I have no idea!
[breathlessly]
Aunt Meg's Cows Spark a Humorous Exchange
Rabbit
God Meg, you got alot of beef. Where'd you get all this beef?
Aunt Meg
Did you see my cows out front?
Rabbit
No.
Aunt Meg
Op...aaah!
Rabbit
Oh.
Dusty
You slaughter your own cows! Meg, nice!
A Windy Experience in Twister
Dusty
Well, there's some good news. It DID fly. What was it like?
Jo
...It was windy.
Dusty
Windy. That's intense.
[Chuckles]
Jo
Alright, get out of the way, Dusty.
Dusty
That's intense. That's intense.
Tornado Chase Decisions in Twister
Beltzer
Shit. Shit! Hey, are you guys gonna wrap this up pretty soon?
[on the radio]
Bill
WHAT?
Beltzer
Oh, nothing I was just wondering if we were gonna chase this tornado, or just catch the next one.
[obviously sarcastic; clears his throat]
Bill
SHIT!!
Corporate Ambition vs. Scientific Integrity
Bill
Jonas! Son of a bitch!
Melissa
Who is that honey?
Bill
Jonas Miller. He's a nightcrawler. We all started out working in the same lab, but Jonas went out and got some corporate sponsors. He's in it for the money not the science. He has a lot of high tech gadgets, but he's got no instincts, and he doesn't have Dorothy.
Miscommunication Among Storm Chasers
Jo
Bill?
Bill
Why didn't you tell me?
Jo
Bill, don't!
Joey
Uh, what?
Jonas
And what will soon be the center of all studies- Hey! Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
[Bill punches Jonas off his hat and slams him against his D.O.T.3 system]
Bill
You son-of-a-bitch! What, did you think I wasn't gonna find out?
Jonas
Hey guys, get this loser off of me!
Jonas's team member #1
Alright! Back off! Back off!
Jonas's team member #2
Put your malfunction, man!
Joey
Come on, he's not worth it!
Jonas
What is the matter with you?!
Bill
You stole my design, you son of a bitch!
[Tries to push at Jonas again]
Joey
Calm down!
Jonas
What the hell are you talking about?!
[Pushes Bill back]
Bill
DOROTHY. You took her, you damn THIEF!
Jonas
Oh, I get it. You wanna take credit for my designs, is that it?
[Realizes what Bill is talking about and smiles]
Bill
You're a liar. She was our idea and you know it!
Jonas
Unrealized idea. Unrealized.
Bill
That thing ain't worth shit!
[Tries to attack Jonas again, Jo helps stop it]
Jo
Hey! Hey, guys! Bill! Guys! GUYS!!! Oh my guys! Get a grip on yourselves. We both know they'll never get that thing up in the air.
Joey
That's right!
Jonas
Well, let me enlighten you people. This baby has satellite com-link. We've got an onboard pulse Doppler, and we've got NEXRAD real-time. Today, we're gonna make history. So stick around, cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.
Rabbit
Better than what you sniff.
Bill
We'll see who gets it first, PAL.
Jonas
Oh, and by the way... I really enjoy your weather reports.
[Referring to Bill's new weatherman job; Laughs and walks away]
Bill
JEEZ, YOU SLIME!!! I'm not through with you, yet!
[Tries to go after Jonas again]
Rabbit
Alright! Alright!
Bill
Come on! Come here! Come on! Come on! Get your hands off of me! Let go of me! OKAY!!!
Sanders
He's a corporate kiss-butt, man!
Jo
I'm sorry. I should've told you.
[Walks to Bill]
Bill
ONE DAY. I'll give you one day. Whether she flies or not, I'm gone.
[Glaring at Jo]